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So here's the deal. I want you to read the following letter and give me a quick summary or tell me what you think was the INTENT of the letter. This really can be a simple sentence or two, but make it as long as you like. Also, a quick evaluation of the TONE.  This could be done fairly breifly, remember to include the gift you want in the reply. No gift for spam or irrelevent answers, looking for adults only.


Some background “X” is a very busy, multi jobbed person that even when he had spare time didn't choose to take any invitations from “Y”. Both are adults that really haven't interacted much. “Otherkid” is younger and a celebrated aspect of her personality was willfulness. Words changed to protect identity X was a persons name “somewhere far away” was a state and so on.




There may have been a misunderstanding that not only took a while to realize, but has been held back for the sake of “timing”. Quite awhile ago, while you were pregnant, you asked me what I wanted to be called by him, you tossed a few names around and I answered Y, call me Y. Then you announced “Grand Y it is”. I was shocked, this was very much against my wishes for reasons beyond the scope of this message. About the only thing I could do was stay quiet to keep the peace. I consoled myself with the fact that I lived in Somewhere far away and probably would have minimal contact with you and your family. That was, at that point, conflict avoidance and not rocking the boat.


Life changed. After I got sick and had to look at the future realistically, I saw that it was not a caring choice to stay Somewhere far away. Although the air isn't great there, the truth is you can't get reinfected with Serious Disease from the outside, I carry the pathogen with me all the time within me, more like Hepatitis than the flu The prognosis was “grim” (you know its bad when the don't list the numbers) for someone with the disseminated form of the disease. After we came up to Here and saw you guys and especially My wife and the (grand)kids, it was obvious what I should do. The only reason I'm telling you this is so you understand that my main motivation for moving to Here was so my wife would be around family after I was gone. I've done a little better than grim so far, how could I complain?


So I looked forward to moving up here, from what I knew about you, we have some common background, and I thought after awhile we could even share some of that stuff and maybe friends. I understand that this is improbable and am alright with it.


But I did hear Grand Y plenty and to be quite honest when I heard it it not only reminded me of the original reasons I didn't like it, of the the guy who named me that, and of myself about saying nothing about it. My tolerance game slowly got more difficult. I talked to X's wife about it, but honestly felt silly and backed down. One day, while involved with a conversation with my wife that was fairly disturbing to my ego and patience, your kids came over to show off their bicycles. I was wise enough to know that I was not good company for kids and stayed in, unfortunately my wisdom was not long lasting enough to say no when my wife came back in and said “their waiting for you” or something like that. Your kids came running over to me, excited and happy to see me. This was one of those gift moments that kids give you, they came, shouting over and over “grand Y”. It was that moment of intolerance reached. I told them never call me that again! One kid pretty much said OK and called me Y, otherkid, well guess, she is your kid. I told her that I wouldn't answer her if she called me that. As you can see, I wasn't gonna win an argument and was totally owned by a three year old, later that would seem funny. I can't really know what was up with your wife because of the loud roar that ensued from mywife Loud and long. We are seeing a counselor now.


OK, so that is embarrassing enough and more revealing than I care to be with someone who truly is mostly a stranger to me. So the finale. I understand that you are hard of hearing and may have never actually heard what I was saying. My hearing issues, although helped along by being a musician, seemed to happen all at once when I got sick. I had a hearing aid that is now not functional and I have learned about how much inference you have to do when people are talking. My heart sunk as I realized that my “thing” against you was probably more likely an invalid thought.


So what do I want from you? Nothing. I want to give you the chance to understand something going on around your kids and maybe explain some of my behavior. I also want to give you the opportunity make your wishes known to me if you take exception to me being around them. Our counselor is thinking that it is time to be around them and has been coaching me on ways to effectively communicate with little kids. This is a two minute warning.




An Ep User An EP User
Jan 18, 2013