I Am In Many Ways.  I Am ...

I am in many ways.  I am a middle child of four boys so that explains part of it. I have always felt an outsider.  In my family and with the rest of the world.  One of my aunts worries about me.  She tells me how she always notices that I stand away from the rest of the family at reunions.  That I stand at the back of the room or whatever.  I've also noticed that my parents play favorites (I don't think intentionally).  They have never visited me anywhere I've lived other than for some practical reason, to help me move, etc.  My older brother, the "golden child" type, has been visited many times over the years.  Special trips where they plan to spend a weekend there.  My father gets along with him like he's one of the good guys and I am kinda like a liberal trouble-maker.  Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  He was the "golden child" from birth and so is married with kids, owns a house, etc.  I'm the black sheep with drug/alcohol issues, etc. 
ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton
41-45, M
2 Responses Jun 14, 2007

Well that is an awesome attitude. You made me feel like a whining crying baby compared to what you've been through.

I use to feel the same way in part because I am the youngest of 8 kids but I am my fathers only child the rest of my brothers and sisters have the same dad except for my oldest brother <br />
( he was a child of rape) and the my brothers that are 7 & 8 years older then me have a different father then the rest but now it's not so bad. my parents never played favorites but while growing up I was always criticized for then things I do you'll be dead locked up or with child by the time your 15 some of them use to tell me. you'll never amount to anything, your not going to finish high school etc.... but I proved them all wrong. my siblings are the one's that made me feel out of place but I look at it as all their criticism made me stronger.