I Have Two Families and I Hold This Title In Both.

I have my biological Dad, his wife and kids and their families.  Then I have my Mom, adoptive Dad, their kids and those families. (Long Long Story, may be a blog someday)

I must have started this all at a really early age.(without even meaning too!)  I have always been very independant.  I am not a girlie girl.  I don't go along with what evryone else is doing simple because everyone is is doing it.  I have never been who who worried about what other people think about me.  I liked who I liked, I didn't care if they had money, who their parents were or any of that.  I remember growing up I was told numerous times "You are judged by the company you keep."  Even at 5 and 6 years old I remember think what a crock. (maybe not those word exactly, but you get it)

Growing up was more of the same.

Here is what people see....

My siblings and how they appear, (both families) 1 is the perfect little Christian mother with and has a great life.  2. Is a vey responsible single father of 2. Good job, always makes the right and responsible decision.  3. Young single guy slightly rebellous, has a great heart. 4. Great Mommy and wife. super close to the parents.

I know so much more, this is not who or what they are really like.  It does not make them less in my eyes that they have faults, however it might to some. 

Then there is Me.  I have been in A LOT of trouble, I have made horrible decisions, I ran with an "unacceptable" crowd. etc... etc...  But, I finally am getting it together, I am doing so good!!  GUESS WHAT, NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!   I still do NOT care what other people think about me, I still do NOT wear dresses, I still choose my friends by who I actually like. I still make bad decisions sometimes.  You just don't see me enough to know that.  It is easier for you to not think about these things.

A lot of people put on a show for the public eye.  They are not the same behind closed doors.   With me I am the same no mater where I am.  If I am mad, I show it.  If you are being stupid, I tell you.  I get a little loud sometimes, I make bad decisions sometimes.  I am the one who takes responsibility for my actions, so it really is no skin off your back.

All of this combined with living in a small town has definitly made me the black sheep.   I do NOT care!!  At least I am honest about who I am, and I don't have to worry about someone finding my hidden closet of skeletons.  My are all laid out for everyone to see anytime they wish.

Reality4Me Reality4Me
36-40, F
2 Responses Feb 11, 2009

I am 60 years old and was the black sheep of the extended family. It sounds like you are living your life sincerely. You do what you want to do; you like the people you like; you're not about faking people out or being a con artist. People who can't be themselves and have to con other people (put on impressions) try to impress others, etc., they are the ones who turn out to be very emotionally sick. They can't be real. If they can't be real, they don't know who they are ~ they don't know who they are. Sincerely --- after years of theraphy and many years of 12 Step groups, i can tell you that being real and being who you are, is the best. You have the courage to do that. Go for it!

i was the black sheep too. never was quite accepted by my mom but my dad is great!