HOW Unlike You

I WOULD RATHER BE VIEWED AS DIFFERENT NOW THAT I KNOW HOW UNHAPPY MY PARENTS ARE. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT IT IS IMPROPER PARENTING THAT ACTUALLY FORCES A CHILD TO FEEL THIS WAY. I WAS INFLUENCED BY THEIR FAVORITISM TO THE POINT WHERE I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT ME, MYSELF AND I CAN BE JUST FINE ALONE OR WITH PEOPLE THAT APPRECIATE ME. I AM THE MIDDLE CHILD OF THREE GIRLS.  ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE TREATED EQUALLY GROWING UP.MY MOTHER ONCE TOLD ME SHE LIKED MY SISTERS MORE THAN ME. SHE CAN BE A HUGE DUNCE.

GROWING UP I DID REBEL AND FOLLOW MY OWN PATH AND I RESPECT AND LOVE MY FAMILY FOR THE PEOPLE THEY ARE BUT I DO NOT WANT TO BE THEM.

I HAVE THE MOST TALENT  IN MY FAMILY BECAUSE I HAVE TAKEN THE NON-CONFORMIST APPROACH ON EVERYTHING. I TOOK TIME TO DISCOVER WHAT I LIKED AS AN INDIVIDUAL, WHAT I'M GOOD AT. I AM HONEST WITH OTHERS AS WELL....BRUTALLY AT TIMES. I THINK THIS HAS A LOT TO DO WITH MY UPBRINGING. I WANT EVERYONE TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BEING TREATED FAIRLY EVEN IF THAT MEANS OFFERING A DOSE OF REALISM WHEN THEY ASK MY OPINION. I DON'T THINK THIS IS WRONG.

RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN TOLD IN MY CAREER THAT SOME HIGHER-UPS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ABACK WITH THEIR FIRST IMPRESSION OF ME, MAYBE BECAUSE OF MY NO-NONSENSE PERSONALITY??BUT THEN THEY LEARNED HOW AWESOME I AM AT MY JOB AND HOW MY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE CAN POSITIVELY INFLUENCE A TEAM. THE FUNNY THING IS - MY PARENTS STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. THEY CONSTANTLY REMIND ME OF WHAT IS WRONG W/ME AND SO ON. MY DAD REMINDED ME TODAY THAT I "WASN'T WELCOME IN HIS HOME".GROWING UP MY DAD USED TO ALWAYS SAY "PROVE ME WRONG" WHEN I WOULD TELL HIM THAT HE WAS WRONG ABOUT HOW UNSUCCESSFUL HE SAID I WOULD BE.

I CAN ONLY SAY THIS....THE MOST INTERESTING PEOPLE ARE THE ONES THAT SEE OUTSIDE OF THE BOX. THIS IS WHY I TRY TO SURROUND MYSELF WITH  BLACK SHEEP MINDS:)

iluchuy3 iluchuy3
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 1, 2009

I understand where you are coming from as I too am a black sheep and get treated really badly by my family no matter what I do. I am thirty and I am still struggling where I contemplate taking my life and I do self destructive things like drink far too much wine and take too many pills which I do know is destroying my mind body, (I have to take heart pills, and no one knows about this). I wish I could stop and be happy without feeling the need to ask for help from my family who always leave me feeling empty and guilty all of the time for not being able to get a job and daring to earn an Honours degree in the huge city. I wish I could be happy like you are and have a stronger sense of self without feeling that I need approval.

i was the black sheep too!

Good for you, don't let anyone dictate how you live your life. Its all good as long as you respect people as you do.