I Am the Black Sheep, Too!

It has taken me 45+ years to figure out what is going on. My father treats me as though I do not exist. My mother insists I visit her, but when you're made uncomfortable, why? My brother (there are 3 of us children, I'm the middle child) treats me the same way. They insist on exchanging gifts at Christmas with people they don't even like--which is me and my spouse. My father makes comments that would make you think my husband is lazy and doesn't work hard. Who gives him the right to condemn someone? I refuse to cry over something I didn't create, but that doesn't make the hurt and heartache go away. And... my father sexually abused me when I was young by taking me off in the car and parking the car and ************ in front of me. I was scared to death! He would then pay me money to not tell my mother. I have never discussed this with my mother or siblings, but have discussed it with my husband. The Bible says to 'honor your father and mother.'  I try to, but I find it difficult as it beats me down. I don't know why I still live in this area, as I would be better off moving to where my in-laws live and never look back.

luvless63 luvless63
41-45
3 Responses Mar 17, 2009

The middle child alwats has a difficult time.<br />
<br />
I am sorry for what you had to endure. It isn't fair or right.<br />
<br />
As far as the biblical honor goes - If parents act as parents, than it is your duty to honor them.<br />
<br />
If they don't act as parents should, you are released from honoring them. God will understand. He is a father. He knows how to act as one.

It sounds extremely difficult to have to go through this kind of thing with you're parents. Luckily i've never been in this situation but i somehow can guess how i would feel if i did. <br />
If i was in your position, i would just tell your family that it's best to stay away if they are going to treat you that way. Why should you make time for them if they can't simply get on with you and your other half.<br />
I'm sure by the way you speak, that you have a family of your own. i would just concentrate on them for now. they are what's important.

Your last sentence made a lot of sense. Your father is still abusing you. he is really on a power trip. Do yourself a favor and remove yourself from the situation at least for a while. Think of how relieved you will feel.<br />
Good Luck to you!