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A True Black Sheep - Memories

I am a true black sheep of my family. I could probably write a million of my experiences of how I was treated differently/unfairly, by my mother, who would often gang up my siblings against me as well. My dad stood up for me though, and he could see that they were doing it.

Anyway, one story I wanted to relate is this...

One Christmas a few years back it was decided that 'the family' would get together for Xmas dinner at my sister's place, she lives in the same city as I do. My parents, brother and another sister came from out of town for the dinner, as did the sons of my sister's other half. It would be the first time in several years that 'the family' would all be together at Xmas, it was a rare event. Although I knew about the dinner, I hadn't actually been invited. I'd talked to my sister on the phone regularly but although she asked me what are your plans for xmas day, she never asked me to be there. So my Dad calls me on the night before and said he was looking forward to seeing me the next day. I said, uhh, I wont be there, I havent been invited. But he INSISTED that I come, and said that I BELONG there, that Im part of the family and to JUST COME. I felt like sh*t of course and didn't know what to do, do I let my Dad down and not show up (because of course you don't turn up somewhere at XMas uninvited even if it is your own family), or do I just turn up and risk feeling like a total embarrassed fool.

So I decided I would not let my Dad down, I dont often get a chance to see him and he is not getting any younger. I got stares and whispers "what is she doing here?" and my kids who would have been early teens at that time, it was not nice for them either. I had had 2 glasses of wine before I came, to calm my nerves and so I could shrug off how I felt and pretend that I felt ok, but I still felt horrible. After the whispers and stares nothing more was said, I was mostly ignored, as per usual, nothing new there. I don't say much, they don't say much (if anything) to me, that's how I was brought up. Anyway, come dinner time, my sister said out loud (to nobody in particular) that there wasnt enough food for me and my kids, of course it was a hint for me to go, but it wasn't actually said to my face, if it had been told to my face I would have left immediately without a word. But nobody actually had the GUTS to ask me to leave. I felt so horrible for the kids. Now it turns out when everybody had finished, there was more than enough food LEFT OVER, so it was just nasty bullsh*t.

So yeah, this happened a few years ago now. I'm still in touch with my sister, she lives 10 mins away in the same house, it's never been talked about.

 

IndigoPeachblossom IndigoPeachblossom 36-40, F 2 Responses May 22, 2009

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I am 60 years old and the blacksheep of a very dysfunctional family. I wouldn't have a thing to do with any of your sister's or anyone that goes along with how you were treated. They all are dysfunctional as they can be. No one in their right mind would ever be that nasty to another person. They are messed up. I have put a big separation between my family of origin and myself. I go to DFW once / twice a year for nasty behavior such as what you had to go through. My younger sister is a nasty person. I choose friends to hang out with. I go to therapy. I also go to 12 step meetings for CODA, OA. If I were you, I would have nothing to do with those nasty people. They won't support you anyway.l They are the ones that something seriously is wrong with. You are fine. They're nuts. Keep away from those mena people.

OMG!!! I can't believe that!!! Some people can be so mean and to think that it was your own family. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. I too, feel left out and treated differently, but not to that extent. I hope that your own family is everything you dreamed of and more.