Being Tortured By My Own Mother

According to my grandma my mother has been ill since she was in her twenties. She had a rather rough home life herself...her father was abusive to everyone in the home but singled out his youngest child. That child ended up committing suicide when he was in his early twenties...this really messed my mom up as she was very close with her brother Paul. She never received any help for her emotional state of mind and with time she became much, much worse. She was twenty seven when I was born. Growing up, she was very mean to me. She would tell me how other little girls were prettier than me on tv an true to get me to become bulimic with her at the age of only five! She would have terrible episodes which always ended up leaving me scared as a young girl. She would ground me to my room for no reason. She isolated herself from the world and still does to this very day. She didn't want me to have any friends. She told me that all I needed was my family, especially her. As I got older, my mother would tell me that I looked gross in all of my clothes. She competed with me for male attention and always put me down. She also used to have my dad belt me for every little thing I ever did wrong. Together both of my parents would gang up on me and tell me that I was stupid and must need to get tested. They would say this because I was horribly depressed and did really bad in school. I turned to alcohol at fifteen and tried many other drugs. I didn't care about myself or what happened to me; I felt so trapped by my mother that I didn't think life could get any worse...until I became mentally ill myself with post traumatic stress disorder and major depression. I will save that for later...there's too much to write right now that I feel overwhelmed.
Suz23 Suz23
22-25, F
Dec 3, 2012