Seeking Some Advice
My mother sent me a text message today. Something simple, she claims a friend of hers wants advice about a cardiologist, I happen to know a few. There has been radio silence between us since I "irrevocably damaged" our relationship by allowing my father to meet my boyfriends parents before her. As an aside, we were in therapy between thanksgiving and Christmas, and had been tenuously dancing around each other for months before that. I didn't think it was the time for her to meet boyfriends parents, and when I told her this, she found boyfriends father on Facebook and left him a private message demanding to meet since boyfriend and I had been so rude in not passing along her repeated invitations. Should i reiterate that i am 25 and boyfriend is 27? I am digressing from my point, which was her quitting counseling in a telephone tantrum and telling me she needed to "put herself first" for a change. Two days after quitting counseling she told me if my father met boyfriends parents first we were done. She was sick of me always blaming her for everything and she sarcastically apologized for being the worst mother on the planet. I took a deep breath and told her that those were her words and not mine, that I didn't feel comfortable introducing the two parties when our relationship was in a difficult place and that me loving my father and having a relationship with him did not mean I loved her less. "Your father was a liar and a cheater." She tells me this repeatedly, despite me asking her not to. So I cut her off by asking what she wants, she tries to pick up the subject of my father again and I tell her the conversation is over. Now it is halfway through January and she is texting me something seemingly innocuous, is it wrong of me to feel that this is a ploy? Her way of edging back in? Do I want no contact with her, when the thought leaves me breathless with grief? But I can't trust her, and she doesn't seem to want to change, it is either her way or no way. Navigating even a casual relationship with her is exhausting to me, setting boundaries is difficult, especially when she refuses to respect them. What should I do?