Mood MonsterMy mom wasn't always the way she is now. In fact, growing up, I thought I had the best mom on the planet. She was beautiful, smart, easy going, and funny.
This all changed in 2000 when my 18yr old brother passed away. Since then my mom has gone through a lot of changes. She divorced my step-dad of 16yrs. She had to deal with empty nest as my other brother and I moved out and off to college.
I also know that my mom had a crazy *** childhood filled with abuse at the hands of a half-brother and also from my grandma.
But the last handful of years has been the very worst. It is now to the point where I cringe at the thought of having to spend time with her. She gets really angry out of nowhere and tends to throw fits for imagined slights. She doesn't communicate well. She also likes to believe that I am her private therapist. We have bad boundaries. She likes to tell me about her dating escapades, which I have virtually no interest in hearing about.
She is 56yrs old and is dating someone in their thirties. (I am 32.) So needless to say this is disturbing to me.
Whenever I'm around her I try to keep things as light as possible. I feel like she can get angry and pout over nothing so I have to be careful.
When we haven't seen each other in a month or more she tends to start sending me emotionally sappy emails to try and rope me back in. I do my best to navigate these emails. I talk about how I'm doing, how my fiancee is doing, how my cats are doing, how my job is, etc. I try to let her know that I love her, but that I need my space.
This strategy doesn't seem to work well. I don't know what to do anymore.