An Awakening

I am a single woman in my early thirties and I recently discovered that my mom probably has BPD or at least BPD tendencies.  I have a Psychology Degree and while I was in school I focused on Anxiety and Depression issues because I have dealt with those disorders myself.  Somehow, in my four years of school I never picked-up on Borderline Personality Disorder.  My mom is now in her 50's and for whatever reason this past Christmas put up red flags and I began to read over books and look through the internet for some indication of what my mother is suffering from.  When I came across BPD I began to cry because for once everything made sense and I felt normal.

I am new to all of this and I would like to meet other women who may have had similar experiences.  If anyone would like to chat please drop me a line, I would appreciate the opportunity to share stories.

Cheers.

SmithGal SmithGal
31-35
5 Responses Feb 27, 2009

Thank you for posting this....I feel like I went through the same thing with my wife. I didn't understand why things were the way they were
And I started reading and research.
I found borderline personality disorder and I began to cry as well it made sense.

I could have written this myself. It is amazing to find others, even across years, who have had similar experiences. I thought it was only me.

I think my father had/has BPD as I can only describe my childhood as "walking on eggshells." That seems to be the overall theme, the common factor. I'm nearly 50; I'm just coming to terms with this realization. My father is 85 and still exhibits symptoms, although I moved 1,500 miles away to escape his behavior. I feel compassion for my mother, but she is complicit in his behavior. It was her choice to live with him, despite having her own money and career. <br />
<br />
My realization began 12 years ago, with a second crumbling marriage. I was diagnosed with thyroid disorder, then depression, then anxiety. I suffered panic attacks. During a third disastrous relationship with another personality-disordered individual, I went to a new therapist who sent me straight to a psychiatrist, realizing I was suffering from PTSD. A second therapist confirmed this a few years later. Only now, after putting all these pieces together, can I trace the trauma back to living with a personality-disordered father.<br />
<br />
It feels good just to write this down....

I think my father had/has BPD as I can only describe my childhood as "walking on eggshells." That seems to be the overall theme, the common factor. I'm nearly 50; I'm just coming to terms with this realization. My father is 85 and still exhibits symptoms, although I moved 1,500 miles away to escape his behavior. I feel compassion for my mother, but she is complicit in his behavior. It was her choice to live with him, despite having her own money and career. <br />
<br />
My realization began 12 years ago, with a second crumbling marriage. I was diagnosed with thyroid disorder, then depression, then anxiety. I suffered panic attacks. During a third disastrous relationship with another personality-disordered individual, I went to a new therapist who sent me straight to a psychiatrist, realizing I was suffering from PTSD. A second therapist confirmed this a few years later. Only now, after putting all these pieces together, can I trace the trauma back to living with a personality-disordered father.<br />
<br />
It feels good just to write this down....

I realize you wrote this almost a couple years ago, but I just came across it. I am a female in my late 20s, just realizing that my mom probably has BPD. It is weird to read about how BPD act and to be able to pick out the crazy things my mom has done and see that it kind of makes sense now, but also that it was still wrong how she acted (and still acts). I don't know how to send an e-mail or message through this site because I just joined, but you can feel free to e-mail or message me if you'd like :)