My mother has BPD and I grew up feeling guilty for other people and took on many responsibilities. Now that I am married with kids I find myself sabotaging my own marriage. Whenever there is a problem in my marriage, I find a way to make it worse. For example, my husband got very drunk the other night and as a result I told him I was leaving him. The weird thing is I am aware that this is destructive and yet I do it anyway and then later I am very hurt by my own actions. My mother still affects my married life. She hates my husband and constantly blames me for her feelings of loneliness and being unloved which is draining and my husband is very hurt by it. I wish I knew what to do to make it stop, I know my feelings are unhealthy and I want to move forward. I also have a huge problem with intimacy and affection in my marriage and my husband is tired of it. He cheated on my early in our marriage and ever since I have extreme distrust, even though I know has not cheated on me since. I just want to live a normal life, my mom disregards my feelings and says it is normal to be affectionless and I have no one to turn to for help.