I Have An Alcoholic Mother And Family Who Doesn't CareThere is so much I could start out with. But I'm just going to talk about the most recent stuff. For starters my mother is an alcoholic, a binge drinker to be exact. She has given herself cirrhosis and who knows how long she'll live. I'm going to go back to explain the situation just so anyone who does read this doesn't get confused. Back in March, my mother decided to go into rehab and I was excited, wanted it more than she did. She stayed there for the week they kept her, and then once she got out, stayed sober two or three weeks. But once things went to complete crap, she turned to her liquor again. She kept telling me not to be mad at her and at first I did what I usually do, which is yell a little, get pissed off, and really just ignore it. Then a few days later I got a grip and called her and said I couldn't do this anymore and that I wouldn't speak to her til she sobered up. Well two, almost three months past and all of the sudden I'm getting emailed by her family telling me to call them or email them back. Before they even said anything I knew it was about her. Turns out my mother nearly drank herself to death. Oh and she drank herself into full blown end stage cirrhosis, and she has to have a liver transplant at some point to live. I went to the hospital twice with my aunt and called her a few times, mainly because I thought she was going to die. But I tried to keep myself distant because I don't want her thinking she can go and pretty much attempt suicide, and have me running back to her. She's been out of the hospital for a little over a month now and she's in diapers, never thought I'd ever have to say that, she's not drinking mainly because she can't though she'd die if she did. I've spoken to her a little here and there, but usually because she contacts me, the only time I've actually called her was on her birthday. But to get to the point of my rambling, tonight I got a phone call from my aunt telling me that she knows me and my mom are having our problems, but that I need to start calling her a few times a week because she really needs me right now. Then there is my cousin, her father is a recovered alcoholic and a sweet, sweet man.....now that he's sober that is. But he is now dying of colon cancer. His daugther (my cousin) told me that "by the grace of god you can forgive them no matter how tough it is when they are dying." She may have actually forgiven her father, I don't know, and if she did that's awesome for her, but i'm not ready for that, really, I don't know that's even the path I'm going to take. But the point in that little bit of information, is that people actually have the nerve to compare that to my mothers situation, if anything that is an insult to my uncle. My mother did this to herself, and is dying because she chose to drink, but for some reason they want to blame the cancer on his old drinking habits.
I had a point to that and I'm sorry, I don't remember completely where I was going with it. But they all act as if she had no control over what she was doing, and she did, she made the choice to drink. But they want to act as if I'm some terrible person because I'm not speaking to her as much, and because I'm trying to keep myself away from all that disfunction. I do have people that care about me, but for some reason I really feel alone. My mothers family was obviously trying to make me feel guilty and try to push some of my buttons, thinking I'd go back to be her lap dog. But they are getting a reaction, just not the one they'd want, I know my moms going to die, and I wanted to try and talk here and there, because I really do love my mom, but they've pushed me to the point where I'm just ready to cut them all out of my life. I'm so scared, and I have no idea what to do. I'm trying so hard to change things in my life, and I feel like the life is being sucked out of me sometimes. But that in part comes with me feeling like I can state my opinions to them, or take up for myself. They all want to say my moms drinking is a disease and my aunt had the nerve to compare it to her food addiction, which both of those things are complete crap. My moms family is kind of crazy, I just didn't know where else to turn to tonight, so for anyone who actually reads this or replys to it, thank you.