I Find AmityI have found amity in the chaos.
Throughout my life I have hoped for this.
I never knew it, but I just wanted reality to be recognized
In a home where my feelings were not to be talked about,
as long as they included what would happen.
A few years ago, I started to go to AA.
I've never worked the steps.
I've never felt out of control with using anything.
I've always had control over what I take and drink.
But something at those meetings
was so comforting.
To hear people be honest about their pain,
their struggles and their weakness.
All so honest.
I was able to watch many people grow over the weeks,
and become honest with themselves.
I was so attracted to all of it,
it was an escape I could control.
I had the oppertunity to share tonight at a meeting,
just how I feel,
and how lucky I feel
to be in the presence
of so many brave people
who want to do the work
to take control of their lives.
I am inspired,
I am fortunate,
to be a small part,
a quiet observer,
of their growth
and their acheiving their own happiness.
It may sound silly,
but it's true.
I am grateful
to have these meetings,
to go to if I choose.
Although the ones I love,
may never step foot in one,
I can support
those who have.
And there is nothing
I'm better trained for.
WomanReclaimingSelf 22-25, F 0 Apr 10, 2011