I Find Amity

I have found amity in the chaos.

Throughout my life I have hoped for this.

I never knew it, but I just wanted reality to be recognized

In a home where my feelings were not to be talked about,

as long as they included what would happen.

A few years ago, I started to go to AA.

I've never worked the steps.

I've never felt out of control with using anything.

I've always had control over what I take and drink.

But something at those meetings

was so comforting.

To hear people be honest about their pain,

and regrets,

their struggles and their weakness.

All so honest.

I was able to watch many people grow over the weeks,

and become honest with themselves.

I was so attracted to all of it,

it was an escape I could control.

I had the oppertunity to share tonight at a meeting,

just how I feel,

and how lucky I feel

to be in the presence

of so many brave people

who want to do the work

to take control of their lives.

I am inspired,

I am fortunate,

to be a small part,

a quiet observer,

of their growth

and their acheiving their own happiness.

It may sound silly,

but it's true.

I am grateful

to have these meetings,

to go to if I choose.

Although the ones I love,

may never step foot in one,

I can support

those who have.

And there is nothing

I'm better trained for.
WomanReclaimingSelf WomanReclaimingSelf
22-25, F
Apr 10, 2011