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I Feel Sorry For My Mum..

My dad's the alcoholic. He always has an argument with my mum when he's drunk. He says so hurtful things to her, I couldn't stand that. I hate it when he does that.

Last month he said: "That wife, who could stand her? Her fingers are all thumbs." and he started yelling at her because she was cleaning the floor! He said that she should do that when he's not at home and she has to stop now, it's rude to do that in front of him.

I just don't get it. I guess other husbands would never complain about their wives doing the cleaning?! He just wanted to watch TV and she was in another room cleaning the floor. I really don't get it.

At the moment, it's a little bit better. He's not drunk every day, and I think he really tries to drink less. But he did that so often and always failed. Whenever my mum tells him to get some serious help,  he says he has no problem. He never is able to stay sober for longer than a week.

On the one hand, I get it. Because I know that problem with not admitting, that you need help.

But it's just been this way for far too long. My mum says he drank ever since she met him.

It's a family problem. His father was probably even worse. Always grumpy when sober.

I just wish he would admit his problem, and look for some help. Maybe a therapy or something like that.

deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 13, 2008

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I know how you all feel. I also feel alcoholic tendencies cropping up in my own behavior and am here to try to talk about my experiences so that I can recognize I'm not alone. My mom was an alcoholic and died 5 years ago. The worst part is their anger and confusion when they're drunk. It's as if they turn in to different people. So out of control, angry, and they don't really even know what they're doing. It's a disease and it's not your fault. You can't change your parents... I know, I tried. Hang in there - focus on what's good in your life and do try to tell your dad how you feel and how it affects you. It didn't work for me, but it may just be what he needs to hear.

My Dad got sober many years ago, but I still do remember all the fights I used to see as a kid and the things he said and way he treated her. He's been a good father and husband ever since (for the most past), but he does still have his dry drunk days and can be pretty crabby. What I hate is seeing some of those behaviors try to surface in me now that I'm married. Ninety-nine percent of the time I can feel it before I say or do anything hurtfull, just sometimes makes me mad that I have to deal with them at all.<br />
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Good luck with your Father MsIndievidual.