both of them are alcoholics. My father started when I was 14, got help after almost drinking himself to death when i was 16...I witnessed it all. Then he was sober for a year and was a completely different person wich according to my help group was a good thing..then he fell back again. My mum started drinking alot around that time too..there were several factors but still she hasnt admitted to her problem. Now I´m 24 and i have lived outside of the problems for approximatly 2 years and i joined a group for people that have close connections with an alcoholaddict (english isnt my native so be nice).

Still I have quite close bands with my parents but it is wearing me out alot, can´t focus on work and it even flows over on my private life. Its like they(my parents) are taking I´m mentally still there....even if I moved out recently...My father has been in and out of prison too, but didnt get caught for drinking and driveing...but he has lost his drivers mum has started not to care about anything and as of 20th of march i put an ultimatum to them and told them to seek help as I have done. Mum is in denial, but my dad knows his limits but wont get help. He has said when he was in hospital recently that he wants to stop but he was the same thing as always at home...As of now I don't really know what to do...

My father did contact me after 2 ½ months silence from my part, not calling or having any contact with my parents exept text message from time to time. He told me that he has been sober and lost 10 kilos in weight and he feels great. I noticed that he really changed because he didn't want to lose his only daughter, so I'm trying to get a coffee with my old man and see for real if he has changed. My mum is like a silent wall, I haven't heard anything from her at all, but she is in a mentality mode: "Don't care anymore" but I hope that she will realize that she has problems...Hopefully... I will update when I get some more info..

I hope that they will understand one day...that their problem is destroying the family..I have learnt that its not my fault that my parents are alcoholics, its their problem and they need to deal with it, all I can do is to accept that they have a problem and I can't do much but think of myself and save myself before I can help them.

IcecoldLulu IcecoldLulu
22-25, F
1 Response Apr 15, 2012

I have a lot of heartfelt compassion for you. I am a recovering alcoholic (sober 18 years) and I know how it affected my children. The good thing is I can now be a great grandmother to my grandchildren, and be there for them. I don't know if you have ALANON in Sweden, but if you do it is a great support system. Good luck and remember they won't be able to get sober until THEY are ready.

Thanks! There are some ALANON groups here but the ones that are harder to find is the ones called Adult Children of Alcoholics...My father got a rebound and I'm doing the silent treatment again...but longer now. There is a group for the one I said was lacking in the town I live in.