Growing Up With An Alcoholic Mother

I guess there were a couple things that lead to the first time my mother picked up the bottle for comfort. When I was 6 my dad lost his job, my mother had twins, and my maternal grandmother died; all of this within three months. I don't remember my mother when she didn't have a drinking problem. When I was young, at least 4 times in a given week I would come home from elementary school and find my mother passed out in her bed. I would go days without even seeing her awake. My dad found a new job and hour and half away and wouldn't get home until 8 or 9 on most nights. So, it was just my sister and I taking care of my little brothers.
My mother always drove me drunk, and I never understood how bad this was. I remember being in the car with her when she got her first DUI. She got her 2nd a few months after, but was never sent to jail. Most days after school my sister and I would look for green chardonnay bottles that were hidden around the house. 11 years later and she has made no progress. She has been in and out of rehab. And, a few months ago tried to kill herself by overdosing on pills, was sent to the hospital, escaped, and then was sent to a mental institution. She still doesn't think she has a problem either. Its been rough and had taken a large toll on my grades and overall mental health. With a dad who also refuses to face the truth, I don't have many people to turn to. But I feel it has made me a stronger person. I don't drink and will never. It makes me sick to think or even look at alcohol. Also, i can't help think that if I can make it through this, I can make it through anything else life throws at me.
18-21, F
Jun 3, 2012