Not a Drip

A boy that asked me to a formal dance told me that they thought I would evenually drink alcohol and invited me to drink with him. Unfortunately the notion of drinking completely turns me off and led to his destruction (as a friend, acquaintance, whatever) in my world. Alcohol disgusts me. With a father who has been to over 4 rehabilitation programs, I grew up alright. I always knew of my father as 'the jerk who wouldn't like when I saw my mother's side of the family' due to an odd form of discrimination. The older I became, the worse he got as well as the more outspoken I became. Evenually this change in behaviors led to physical confrontations with his dead weight falling on me as well as slight choking around my neck. The choking led to a bite on his arm which the next morning, he remembered and laughed about it, the rudest thing. The only reason he was choking me was because I pulled him away from my mother whom he was kicking on the floor. It breaks my heart that I honestly had to deal with this, and I still do. Hearing the verbal abuse when I was younger led to my now extreme social anxiety and self-consciousness. His demand on my mother for everything created a strong sense of self-reliance in myself. I am hoping for the day when I find someone that loves me and stays with me, not a family member but someone who blends with me.
iwanttobe iwanttobe
18-21, F
2 Responses Apr 19, 2007

Honey: When you are of age or if you are move out and bring your mother with you.<br />
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I am so sorry, you both deserve better than this.<br />
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You are in my thoughts and prayers. If you need to talk, i am here. Ii am doing a masters with a minor in psychology.

I was too young to help my mom when she was being hit by my dad. Alcohol, weed, drugs, anything, all substances used to escape, hide, and hurt. There is something empowering, however, about being able to tell the world the truth about your feelings and the truth about the things you tried so hard to hide for so long. There are more people like you, as hard as it is to believe. Healthy, independent, loving people.