My Mommy Died From Alcohol My Dad Is Dying From Alcohol And Now My Sister's Have Started!

I miss her so much. She was drowning in her own pain and for as long as I can remember she always wanted to be dead. She would tell her friends that she was waiting for me to turn 18 to do it. My grandpa had died in 2001 and ever since then she was not the same. She used drugs and alcohol as a way to escape the pain, while increasing mine. She was abused by my father and grandparents very badly, they didn't like her because she was white. They made sure to make her remember it every time they saw her too. Anyway, different story.... She was also adopted and her birth mom wanted nothing to do with her so that added another layer of pain. She started drinking heavily around 2002, she started of with little bottles of tequila then by 2005 she had moved up to 1-2 gallon jugs a day. In June 2004 I turned 18 and she was dead by February 3, 2005...........I miss her everyday, her smile and bright blue eyes are what dream about. I need her here so badly and I feel so alone, my dad is dying from the same exact thing. He drinks a 24 pack every day, my sisters and I know what time to not answer the phone because he is a drunk dial-er. He constantly is hurting himself while drinking and he even drives while he is drunk. We have done everything we can but we are frustrated. He is going to die soon also. I feel so helpless and alone, I have no family only my husband and my sister's. Even they are starting to drink heavily, my older sister now has to have alcohol everyday and it is scaring me. She brushes it off like "Oh it' just a drink, have fun" but I see her body swelling and she is starting to look like how my mom did. I am devastated.
sublimewoman sublimewoman
26-30, F
Jul 31, 2012