I Hate My Mother.
Ever since I can remember my mother was my antagonist. She was always telling me what was wrong with me not what was right. I was supposed to be more like my sister. It was a chore to even be near her. There was a tension you could cut with a knife. I am resentful that I was the scapegoat for all that was dissatisfying in her life. She would tell me to do insane things like cut the lawn with a scissors. I was always under a lot stress. I was always afraid that I would do something that would cause her to anger and verbally and physically abuse me. I am way old and still I can't put this behind me. I am angry and resentful just like she was. All of my other brothers and sisters were not touched but not me I was slapped and beaten. AND my father would come home at night and I was always wondering what she had told him and why I was getting a beating. It was always "wait till your father gets home" you're going to get a beating. I often wonder if the punishment fit the crime but I had nothing to gage it against. Still I battle with this and try to resolve these issues. It is very difficult. I am damaged goods.