If Only...

My mother died a week ago...she was an alcoholic and decided she could mix morphine pills with alcohol. What she didn't know was it would make her brain forget how to breathe. She was only 53, and I am only 22. My mommy never got to see me get married, have a baby, she won't be there to coach me through anything. I miss her so much, but I'm so angry and I hate it. I feel so lost and I can't seem to find anyone to understand. Can someone help me figure out what I need to do? I honestly just want to curl up and cry and do nothing else. My brothers didn't handle anything with the arrangements, I did. She was closer to them and all hey wanted to do to celebrate her was to party. I handle the funeral home, the medical examiner, the service. I am angry at them for that because they are older and they never once cared if I was heartbroken, they only cared that I wasn't partying too and fought me every step of the way. Now I'm lonely, and I'm broken, and I'm lost because only mommy could answer to me what to do... :(
kryptonite213 kryptonite213
22-25, F
2 Responses Dec 9, 2012

I am very sorry that you had to go thru all that. I would strongly recommend trying out ALANON meetings in your area (look on the Internet for meetings) which involves people who are or were in a relationship with an alcoholic ( such as a father, mother, sibling, husband, wife etc). If you identify and not compare yourself with the people there, you will probably get alot out of it. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I hope you take my advice and check it out. God bless you.

Im very sorry to hear about your lose. Im sure everything will work out for you again i am very sorry.