I Am the Child of An Alcoholic
Not really, no. Granted, it sounds like many others are like me. I'm am the child of two alcoholics. I am the grandchild of three alcoholics. I'm the nephew of a dozen or so; the cousin of over two dozen, the third whatever once removed of probably hundreds. My family on both sides was awash in alcohol and alcoholics. You couldn't swing a drunken sailor without hitting at least one alcoholic.
I've been surprisingly lucky - in comparison. My big toll, aside from not having parents I could rely on, was in learning to always and only rely on myself and silence. Growing up, if a relative wasn't totally absorbed in their addiction, they were totally engaged in trying to protect themselves against other people's addictions, and on a worse scale than me. So, I'm sometimes unfortunately self-contained and self-reliant. I'm leaning, however, to reach out better. Still very shaky. Have some new family revelations to deal with, which is forcing me to re-address my equilibrium and, I hope, find a better, more positive place.
There are some new stories I need to come to new terms with, now that I find the old stories are lies, and in trying to resolve this, I have an opportunity to stand alongside my sister as she continues to resolve the old problem and story. I can't say I'm happy or optimistic, but I embrace the need to try, to keep rolling the stone up the mountain like Sisyphus, and to try to find pride and pleasure at least in the effort.
I've been surprisingly lucky - in comparison. My big toll, aside from not having parents I could rely on, was in learning to always and only rely on myself and silence. Growing up, if a relative wasn't totally absorbed in their addiction, they were totally engaged in trying to protect themselves against other people's addictions, and on a worse scale than me. So, I'm sometimes unfortunately self-contained and self-reliant. I'm leaning, however, to reach out better. Still very shaky. Have some new family revelations to deal with, which is forcing me to re-address my equilibrium and, I hope, find a better, more positive place.
There are some new stories I need to come to new terms with, now that I find the old stories are lies, and in trying to resolve this, I have an opportunity to stand alongside my sister as she continues to resolve the old problem and story. I can't say I'm happy or optimistic, but I embrace the need to try, to keep rolling the stone up the mountain like Sisyphus, and to try to find pride and pleasure at least in the effort.
By:
openshadows
Age:
46-50
,
Male
