I'm Beginning to Resent....

i have always been pretty good with dealing with her drinking but lately i can't take it anymore. we are fighting all the time and i can't help but feel hate towards her for her actions. she is my mother and i love her but how can i forgive her for causing our family so much pain?

em4040 em4040
18-21, F
4 Responses Jun 22, 2007

I have the same problem and I wish I could tell you it gets better as you get older, but it doesn't. You don't have to forgive her yet, but you need to stay strong and try and not let it get to you. I know it sounds hard and even ridiculous but its the best thing to do. I hope things get better!

You are going through a stage of alchoholism where you want the person to stop and they won't. So naturally you begin to resent them for not having the will power to stop. I suggest you attend an Al-anon group and start the healing process for yourself. Here is a website www.al-anon.alateen.org. It may not contain all the answers but it will help you start to heal. Good luck.

I really don't blame you at all, especially because I'm sure that from the outside it looks like a voluntary activity. But I am on the inside and I can tell you that it isn't. I only pray that she hits the point where she seeks help, because one can't cure others. In the program they say, "Having a resentment is like taking poison and hoping someone else will die." I like that a lot. Resentments can become toxic. Good luck to you.

I am sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully someone here can help you, I don't know what sort of answers I can give you. You could also look into the Alateen, a support group for teens with alcoholic parents.