Bittersweet Love

  I wrote a song in the group, "Ihate YOU" That kinda sums up the wreckage.  Alcohol killed both my Mom and Dad, my grand parents were both alcoholics, although my grand father was in  30th year of recovery.  Their parents were alcoholics.  My mother used used to say, Don't ever let anybody hassle you about your drinking, it' s your cultural heritage.

My brother calls it the "family curse"  My older sister and I inherited it , it skipped my two brothers.  If I can't quit it, it will most likely kill my sister and I.  We both have liver problems, she has already had one total shut down. I've been in and out of treatment since 1987.  It started causing irreparable damage to my life in 79.  Since my first attempt at recovery, I've had 6 periods of sobriety ranging from 3 month to 2 years.  I'm at the first few days of my 7th try. Presently I'm more incapacitated when I don't drink, than when I do. for the first few days that is.  I really am amazed that alcohol is legal, while marijuana can put  you in prison.

I don't blame anything or anyone for my drinking problem.

puck61 puck61
51-55, M
7 Responses Jul 8, 2007

congrats! In 2 years you're my very first troll! I've noticed you've hit everyone in this group.

I very recently lost a very close friend, someone I have known since childhood. My heart is broken. Alcohol killed her.<br />
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Is alcohol a greater addiction than your music? I think you have so much left to say. Have you ever thought that your art needs to out in the world for a reason not yet reveiled to you. Let the alcohol go and let you voice be heard. Who knows what lies in store, when we can all hear you! Strength and courage gentle poet. Victory is yours. I believe.

Way to Go! A battle where the winner will be you! <br />
I believe that if we make the concious choice not to pick up that first drink, then we are strong and will succeed in staying one step ahead of becoming an alcoholic! <br />
I have experienced the devastating consequences that alcohol can bring to a family for generations to come!<br />
Hang in there and best of luck!

Keep up the good work. You can quit. I did. Way back when in aout 93, my husband and I both closed down many bars. and then I got pregnant and quit cold turkey. i decided someone had to stay sober and wake up with the baby. I do not think I have had 5 drinks since then. My husband still drinks daily. My father was an alcoholic until his liver started to play games with him. He was a dictator to my two brothers. He was not so bad to me. i guess cause I am a girl????? Well, now, 20 something years later, he doesn't even remember our childhood. YOU CAN QUIT FOR GOOD!!!!

Did she really tell you alcohol was your cultural heritage?? Jeez!<br />
The fact you acknowledge your problem, don't whine and blame others, speaks well of you.<br />
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It doesn't matter how many times you try to get sober, it only matters that you suceed, and eventually I think you will.<br />
"Denial is not a river in Egypt"

I was forced to write my father out of my life due to his drinking. He was always mean, could't handle the bipolar monster, but the drinks made it worse. The verbal torture turned into physical and it was too much... Please try to beat this.. it will consume you...

I am truly sorry for your losses. I do hope that you get better and that you are able to say sober. I like the fact that you don't blame anybody or anything. Most who drink are quick to blame. Drinking is definitely an inherited thing. My father's whole family are alcoholics. I truly hope you can quit drinking and that you and your sister will be okay.<br />
God bless.