Never Again

My father is an alcoholic. As a child, I never saw him without a drink in his hand. When he got really drunk, he was abusive in every sense of the word. I haven't seen him in 12 years and I don't plan on ever seeing him again. For my children, he will never lay eyes or hands on them. Through all the healing that I have done, I can not bring myself to forgive him or forget anything that he has done. Maybe I'm a bad person for that, but I have my own life now and a beautiful family to take care of. I am sad that I can never allow him to be a part of that.
silvertears silvertears
31-35, F
3 Responses Jul 25, 2007

thanks guys, ya'll make me feel so much better and rest assured, i am trying to forgive him.

You've suffered, and you're wise to protect yourself and your family. You have a right to be happy and being happy requires struggle as you know. You sound well grounded to me, but the hurt is still there. The only reason why you might consider forgiving him is not out of charity but because it would be very empowering and liberating for you. WittyOne is right, you're not a bad person at all. But you're also not the only person who lost something precious. After all, he lost you.

You are not a bad person!!