I Am Peace As She Is to War

My sister is five years older than me. When we were little we'd have so much fun together, playing pretend games. Of course we fought, but as normal sisters. But as she got older she became different. Her narcissistic personality became very apparent. She was wild, doing drugs and alcohol, having sex. And she was mean. God was she mean. She is also bipolar which did not help. We would get into horrible fist fights. She never wanted me around anymore. She didn't want to play. we couldn't stand each other.

There is very little I can do that she hasn't already done. She is extremely wild, while I am more stable. She is extremely charismatic and turns everyones heads. I am very social but am lot less trusting and do not stand out as much as her. I used to be so jealous of her, but now I'm glad I'm not like her. She has a baby with another on the way with an abusive boyfriend, can't keep a job, is constantly moving, never can keep friends, etc. I love her, but I know she will never change. I'm gonna be someone. And she resents that. A lot. We have been trying to patch up our relationship lately but itsj hard. She isn't the girl that loved animals and wanted to save the world anymore. Now all she cares about is herself. And I need to prove to everyone, including my father, I will not become her. I am my own person, and I'm strong enough to make good decisions for myself. I will break this mold. I will.....

yisrael yisrael
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 12, 2009

Maybe you can try exercising outdoor. It keeps you from thinking about the problem. And you get more time to be happy with yourself for being healthy and strong.

Unfortunately mental illness runs in my family. I personally suffer from a chemical imbalance that causes horrible depression and I also have ADHD

You are already doing it. You are right to be glad to not be like her and happy with what you have and not need to be the center of attention. <br />
It sounds like bi-polar really took her personality away. Or at least the part you liked. I have a sister with bi-polar, and it is so sad that the old "self" is not there anymore. She was a genius and so very talented. Now she's just plain lazy and can't even string together a sentence that makes any sense. <br />
It's a very sad thing, what mental illness can take away from someone.