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Black Sheep

My parents are narcissists. I am the Family scapegoat. Psychologically and physically abused.
Married twice - both abusive narcissists (actually second husband was a sociopath not narcissist).
I cannot begin to describe the life long horror and pain I have experienced at these people's (and I use the term loosely) hands.
I have only recently come to understand the reality of my situation and therefore heal.
I always new the truth, i always spoke the truth but now i know thats where the problem began.
To believe for so long that I was a "useless trouble making little ***** who deserved everything I got" (knowing that something wasn't right and I was a good person) - is hard to undo.
To finally be able to put into words and understand exactly what happened to me, how I was abused and why
AND to know I'm not alone in this madness....is more than I could have ever hoped for.
Azure33 Azure33 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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I understand your pain my friend. Having your credibility dashed away and in replacement you always get the **** end of the stick. My whole family singles me out and I don't know why. Do you think that it could be something in our character, that perhaps makes us easy to single out? Perhaps they're envious of a quality we have. Or maybe it's covertly pleasurable for them to release their inner tension/frustration at our expense. Sigh. We really must learn to break this cycle and stand up for ourselves without feeling guilty or powerless. We are human just like they are and we just have to make it known somehow, someway. Whether it be a creative pursuit or something else you desire to succeed in . Make them regret it through your actions and your future. We don't deserve to be treated this way. May you have the best of luck. :)

I too have attracted a lot of $hitty people. It's a hard cycle to break.

Hi azure,
I am troubled by your story, it is not right what you have had to go through. Will you be my friend so I can show you friendship and trust?

Enjoy

dont see how a horny man will show me friendship and trust do you? dont prey on those you consider weak.... i have learnt from my mistakes and dont take kindly to predators.

Wow. Without knowing me you made alot of assumptions and judged me. I feel for you but my friendship is there if you so desire. Try to enjoy life.

i judged you by your profile page..... dominance, submission, slutty girls, sex, sex, sex.........am i missing something? what agenda do you have on this site other than sex? none according to your profile

Awesome, Azure. These predators are the lowest of the lowlife. Why are you on this thread, Deansteele?

Proud of you for standing up for yourself and stating what you believe to be true. Hopefully I could be like that one day.

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you are not alone, looks like i am also not alone.

i want to know your stories better azure.

Azure, you are not alone. My parents abused me physically and emotionally also. I know it's something you never get over. It's very hard for me to trust anyone. When I was told my parents were dead, all I felt was relief. I'm glad to not be alone, too.

I think I would also be relieved if they died....never admitted that to myself until now. Thank you and I'm deeply sorry for the hurt you have suffered also.

You have experienced much greater hardships in your life then me but I know how it feels to be utterly alone and to feel powerless over your life. I think it takes strength and courage to examine the abuse you've been through. I wish you great happiness!

Thank you

Its such a relief to realize there is nothing "wrong" with you. I am glad you can see that now. It sounds like you are on your path to healing and happiness. We are all here for you.

thank you