So..... I Guess I Should Introduce Myself And All

My name's Kendra, and I'll be turning 18 in September.
About 6 months ago I started dating this amazing guy I'm now lucky enough to call my boyfriend.
He's in delayed entry and will be shipping off to basic in June of next year after he gradutes.
I've known this was his plan and all since we met back in January, and even went with him when he met with the recruiters. I've been able to handle all of this up until now.
I have no idea what caused the realization tonight, but I suddenly started thinking "Oh my god, he could die out there."
Now, let me start by explaining that I've had a lot of issues in my past, especially with men, and for the first time in my life EVER I feel completely and totally accepted, loved, and okay with someone. Even being the extremely level headed and logical person I am, I find myself thinking that I want to spend the rest of my life with him (which sounds just as crazy to me typing as I'm sure it does to anyone reading this, but I still find it truer than ever).
I digress. So tonight I totally lost it and started crying because I realized for the first time that I could completely loose him for good. I can deal with the time apart while he's in training and all that. It's this looming fear that as soon as he leaves for combat (which he's sure to do almost directly after training he tells me), that kiss could be our last EVER. That is what I don't think I can handle.
And that's why I'm here. Because I can only tell him so many times that I love him and can only confess so often that I'm scared before I drive him completely batty. I needed somewhere to turn.
So here's to Marine Girlfriend forum one of god only knows how many I'll need to stay sane.
Thanks for listening, I suppose. I'm sure I'll get to know you all soon enough.
SweetSeptemberRain SweetSeptemberRain
18-21, F
Jul 19, 2010