A Little Bit Of Everything.

So Chris has been at SERE School since the 24th & I haven't seen him for about two weeks, but I at least have gotten to speak to him daily. I know how many of you are going through deployment and boot camp and all other sorts of training and don't get to speak to your men, so I feel silly and almost insensitive when I say that today is the first day for two weeks I won't be able to talk to him. I know that it might make some people angry that here I am complaining about a stupid 14 days, and I apologize if it does.

We have only been together for less than a year and so far have not had to go through a deployment or much separation at all. He still has a few months of training to do before he's even eligible to be deployed. He wants it more than anything though. My uncle who is visiting me right now use to work for the government for pretty much his whole life and went on to tell me how helicopter pilots have one of the most dangerous jobs in the service and that they are heroes before they even begin, basically because the chances of them dying is so great. It went on for about 20 minutes until I almost started crying. I'm aware of all the risks Chris takes doing what he does, and it's his passion. He never wanted to do anything else and I'm so unbelievably proud of what he does and how far he's come already. It just wasn't what I needed to hear.

I think that combined with the fact that I know what Chris is about to go through -- the being tortured, sleep deprived, and starved -- is what upsets me. It's scary to think of him going through that every day and not able to hear his voice. It's weird going through my day knowing that he's hurt and tired and hallucinating from not eating. I know everyone here is going through their own things that scare them and make them nervous and anxious; I guess I just felt the need to share mine.

On a happier note though, Chris asked me to move in with him! We are very much in love and I am planning to move out there in the next few months. Until then I spend most of my time with him in "our" condo anyway. I think he's been in his home 2 weeks without me since May. We are looking into buying a home. I've never moved in with someone [other than my college roommate] before, so living with a guy scares the crap out of me. But I know it will work out. I know this is the man I want to spend my life with. All of it is just a leap of faith, for all of us.

Thanks for listening!
lucyfer lucyfer
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 30, 2010

good for you moving in together and you know what who cares if people get annoyed that you miss him for such short amount of time if you love someone it shouldnt matter how long you go your still going to miss them. i miss jason when i dont get to see him for a few days lol keep being strong it will only make you stronger!