Help

Hi, I'm 18 and trying to make it work with a marine.. my marine and I have dated two yrs then broke up for one and started seriously talking again. When he came back from boot camp he was a complete different person. He wasn't the person i knew and dated. I was worried , but i thought maybe it was just a thing that they go through and would get over at some point. He went back for three month training in Oklahoma . when he first got there he was in rehab because something was wrong with his back. we talked everyday any second he got he would call me and tell me that he wanted our relationship to work out and when he gets back we start our lives with each other like we talked about when we were younger. I thought that was great and supported him all the way and let him know he was missed. after a while i didn't hear from him at all . after a month of not talking he finally text-ed me say sorry I've been in my own little world , and that it make the time go by faster. he also said i want to hold off on the relationship for a while. Even though it did break my heart to hear him say that i had to understand and say okay.  We text-ed and talk about how we did still want to" see each other" and i said okay that's fine. Two weeks later I text-ed him asking if he was in town and back home. He did talk for a bit and we did hook up , but after that he hasn't really talked to me.. He is very short and not open at all. He gets deployed in Feb of 2011 and I'm prepared for that. but he says he doesn't want to have to worry about someone while his is trying to fight a war. i understand completely but do i wait till he gets back from being deployed and see what happens or what. he is a totally new person and because i thought we were going to work things out and be together i went and graduated high school early just so i could start my life...He says he still loves me and is always there if i need someone but I'm so confused about what to do..

mckennaword mckennaword
18-21, F
4 Responses Aug 9, 2010

he is going out of town.. sry

okay girls i txt him last night asking how he was being there for him.. he said he was doing goood. then he said he im going out of town till sunday something ab his base in ft worth. and if i would like to come over and have sex... i finally had to tell him that he had changed and i didnt like it and im always there for him but nt in that way and i wont be a booty call. and i told him it took alot to say that. he never txt me back.. girls before he went into the marines he was never evver like this.. i was in total shock when he asked me that.

hey i agree with everything Sam said just be his friend and let him work through it as best he can i also believe that he has no idea how to make this work but really wants to be with you unless he's playing you but i also think his voices are shouting at him!! ok maybe not voices but there are probably a million and one thoughts going through his head right now and the only person who can sort that out is him so be his friend live your life and hope for the best and that things work out!! you can still be there for him and be his friend its just up to you whether you can be or not and i do have a feeling that you can. but i also think that if you should live your life as best as possible when he's ready he'll come to you - Good luck

Hey<br />
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so this is my opinion and i might be completely way off here and i know its really late but i've been having internet problems!! but thats beside the point!<br />
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Alright so its sounds like he's really confused about a lot of things at the moment he wants you in his life but at the sametime he doesnt and at the sametime he's probably has voices in his head we all have voices we know what its like. I also think that what is making things worse is his deployment and those voices are probably starting to shout at him!!<br />
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Jason once told me that while he was in bootcamp and even after bootcamp there were times where he wieghed out his options and he did it a lot. where he couldnt help but think about all possibilties that may happen to both of us he was like the thing it came down to was that i didnt want to hurt you in anyway and i knew that no matter which way i turned i would hurt you in some or other way and i didnt know if i could do that!! he also said that the last thing he wanted to happen was me ending up hating him for some or other reason because he knew that it could possibly happen. no matter how much i try to reassure him about this stuff i will always know its on his mind and there's nothing i can do to get it out!!<br />
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so my advice is be there be his friend help him sort it out and get him talking to you things wont work out over night and they might never but by showing him you will be there for him and he can depend on you or turn to you when he needs a shoulder also that he doesnt have to worry about you when he's away!! it's the only thing you can do for now so be his friend for now he probably really needs one right about now and probably wants that friend to be you!! <br />
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good luck i hope this works out!! i think he does love you i just think he doesnt know how to have a relationship with you and be a marine at the sametime and needs time to work it out and the only way he'll work it out is if you are his friend and still have a life with out him so live your life and be his friend for now and if its meant to be it will sort itself out!!