Unanswered Questions....

Hello all,
Before i write a story about my whole relationship with my boyfriend Bruce, i've recently been plagued by a discussion we had.
My name is Erika and i have been with my Boyfriend for 2 years. i love him very much, as does he love me. the other night however, we got into a discussion about a reality we had to face. As much in love as we are now, we don't know how it will be after his boot camp, or even after his first few deployments. See, the thing is, being 19 and 18 (i'm 7 months older) we still have a lot to grow personality, emotionally and mentally. also, you hear alot about how marine men really change and that they're not the same person they were before. My boyfriend and i have dreams to marry one another some day and have a family, but just  as much as i dream, i know that many of these marine and women back home relationships don't end up working out. i just want to know how many of you have gone through this "change" in your man or relationship, and if it didn't work, how do i prepare myself to let him go? I have all the hope in the world and will be faithful to him until he says he no longer loves me back, but please let me know if you've gone through this, or if it didn't happen to your man at all let me know, it'll give me even more hope. =) but whatever the case, let me know what to do so i can enjoy my love, as long as i possibly can. =)
Thank you all so much,
Semper Fi
Erika
BelovedHeartofMine BelovedHeartofMine
18-21, F
6 Responses Aug 9, 2010

i was friends with AJ when he went to bootcamp and really if anything at all changed with him was he became bigger and more respectful and friendly but AJ was still AJ not much had changed about his personality or the way he was. he did say some really wierd arb things afterwards but honestly i kind of expected it and just laughed it off they all say wierd and sometimes very intresting things!!<br />
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the only thing you can do is be there for write to him as often as you can ignore comments and stories that people are dying to tell cause its always going to end unhapply and keep believing in yourself and him you know him better than anyone you know whether you can trust him or not and that will always be like the anchor through everything you going to go through. and like Sam said keep trusting, love, and support him the best way you can. Stand by him through everything and let him know that you will always be there and smile there's always a good start!

Hey Erika!! When my husband left bootcamp he was the same as when he left yes there were little changes about him but honestly there's nothing i can put my finger on and say AHA that's what it is!! i think if anything changed the most was us and how we are with each other bootcamp blew up a whole new dialogue and experience for us and as long as you honest and tell him how you feel it should be fine. i've also heard the horror stories and thought great this is it it's over for us but honestly stay positive support him through every step of this and speak up when things bug you and talk it out you both have to communicate and trust each other!! it's not going to be easy believe me if anything its more scary but long distance relationships can work you just have to try really hard to make it work!! so keep positive dont look at the negative side you can but dont dwell on it for to long stay strong and believe in what you and your boyfriend have and always always trust and speak to each other and be open from step 1 start now!! another thing Jason and I also had this conversation before he left and it did freak me out because a lot you said was how i also felt so here's my advice and i wish i knew it earlier dont think up or worry about things you not sure are going to happen speak about by all means but dont make something a problem that isnt yet a problem "file it away" and deal with it when you have to. all i'm trying to say is take one step at a time and deal with things when they come your way!Good luck and message me at anytime

My husband and I were only friends when he went through boot but he came out of boot the same man he was before he left. It was a while after he got out of boot that we decided to try dating (we were both very hesitant about the long distance thing) and it worked out for us. Its not always easy, his schedule is very demanding and you wont always here from him when you want to. And being married to him is better because now I live with him. But the Corps still gets frustrating there's always going to be training and duty and all so many other little things. And deployment is hard. But if your relationship is strong its all things that can be overcome.

If it will work out, it will. BUT.... it's a stressful relationship, even after boot and in between deployments. BOTH of you have to basically pledge that you'll roll with the punches and stick with it and stay true. My FIL, who is a retired USMC Col, told me that basically half the marriages don't work out. For whatever reason. Slutty wife, slutty husband, fights, the distance, etc.<br />
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Do I personally think most (not all. I know some horror stories already where obvi a divorce IS needed) could be saved if people did the marriage workshops offered here on base that are supposedly AMAZING, or just understand each other more and where the other is coming from. He can't help the hours he works. He can help how much he's out getting wasted with the guys and not coming home to you. Things like that.<br />
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Overall, I think if a Marine comes out of boot douchey, then he was a douche before and let this next ego trip go to his head.

thank you. i have a friend (male) former marine and he was married but after his enlisted term was over he and his wife got divorced, so that is one of the experiences i think of.

my husband didn't change but he also didn't let the drill instructors get to him like some guys do all of them come out changed some for the better they mature and some just act like their arrogant but that comes from the drill instructors actting like that but if your meant to be then u will nothing not even distance can stop love