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I Wish Parents Were More Accepting...

Today my boyfriend and I got into a bit of an argument over the phone. Lately we have been seriously discussing getting engaged and getting married soon. Which the engagement will probably occur the next time he comes home. The problem is that my parents arent exactly accepting of me getting married while I am in school or while im 19. That shouldnt be a problem since im 19 and can do what i want but for me it is. I really want them to accept my choices in life. Although that may never happen and I have started to accept that. I just feel like I have already spent enough time away from my boyfriend and I want to go live out there with him sooner than later. But since my parents arent excepting of it they have said that they will refuse to help with any of our wedding plans or anything along those lines. And my boyfriend as much as I love him is a bit of a control freak. He feels that he needs to wait awhile and save all of this money for our wedding and give me the beautiful wedding that I deserve. "A wedding for a princess", as he would say. Although I have told him for now I will settle for a JOP wedding. I dont need a big wedding right now when we can do it later. So we got to arguing on which is better for us. I just want him to see that I dont care how I get married the only thing that matters is who I am marrying. I just wish we could see eye to eye on this one. Its really sweet that he wants to do this for me but its really not what I want or need right now. Not being able to please my parents and arguing about this with him is stressing me out. I just wish my parents would accept I am getting married and be happy for me that way my man and I could afford to have a wedding. Good Lord, Does anyone else have parents who are un-accepting of their marriage at a young age or because they are in school? How can I talk to them and just make them realize this is truly what I want and there is no changing my mind?


-shellie
shelliecole shelliecole 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2010

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Jdek- As of right now I am going to stay at the school I am at but hopefully next year like you jdek I will be transferring to somewhere near him and maybe we will be married by then ? l am crossing my fingers that will be the case. And its not like I cant focus on anything because my world doesnt revolve around my boyfriend, since he is gone quite often I have to find things to do to distract myself and school is a good way to do that. But like you I am going to be moving and getting married whether they like it or not because Matthew is a permanent person in my life and I am going to do what it takes to make myself happy. Because at some point in life you have to start living it for yourself and not for the pleasure of your parents. Thanks for your advice :) Im glad that im not the only one going through this!!!<br />
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&dyslexiuh- I do think I am making the right choice and thats by being in love. But just because I will be married doesnt mean I cant finish school. In the end I will show them that I am not a disappointment and you know even if they dont see it that way as long as I am happy life will be good :)

My parents are totally like that! Me and Jonathan started dating our Senior year of high school, and they were even upset about that. "You need to focus on your studies, not boys". Well I pretty much ignored that.haha I showed them that I can handle both just fine, and made good grades in school. So they were more accepting when college came around. They told me, as long as I'm making good grades in school, it's okay with them because school is the most important thing right now...and I believe that too, but that doesn't mean I can't have a boyfriend. We've talked about getting married too, and have pretty much decided that I'll most likely stay at the college I'm at for this year, then move to the city he's stationed at and get an apartment. We should be engaged then, and I'll still be going to school. I'll move whether my parents like it or not, but I'd prefer they accept the marriage. I'd hate that burden too, but my parents are really starting to understand that Jonathan isn't leaving my life anytime soon. So, my advice to you, is talk to your parents. Tell them how serious you are about this, and how much it means to you. It doesn't mean your life is ending, it just means it's going in a new, possibly more exciting, direction. But whatever you do, don't get on your parents' bad side! Just trust that it will work out with time...and persuasion :)

well the reason my parents arent accepting is because they claim i am "too young" . Which is completely stupid considering I am almost 20. That and I am in school, they are afraid that if I get married I will never finish getting my degree and I will end up pregnant somewhere on a ba<x>se all alone. Which isnt true since I plan on still finishing school even though I will be married. They just dont seem to want to listen though. Its their way or the highway. I feel like I disgust them because I am in love but you cant help when you are going to fall in love. I have this huge feeling that they wont ever support it and I will just go ahead and do it anyways. I just hate having this huge burden on my shoulder that I am a disappointment to them.