Emotional Flips - Suck Eggs!!!

So I’m having a bit of an emotional week. The families gone and I really miss them now I know it’s crazy I’ve been living in Hawaii and my family has been living in Boulder this has been my life for 6 years and it’s been fine it has but now of all the years I get home sick and not just home sick but mom sick I’m not kidding people I miss my mom badly and because when she was here and I had a hormonal flip she would be the one that would be like Sam it’s ok you ok it’s normal and now I’m having an emotional flip and its not the first time but its happened and I have no mom to say Sam frigging snap out of it or yes I knew that feeling very well.

So as far as my emotional flip it kind of goes like this I love Jason more than words could ever express there’s no doubt in my mind the boy has swept me off my feet ridden off into the sunset and there hasn’t been a day that I’ve looked back and thought that I could have done better than him in other words he’s my one my soul mate my best friend and the love of my love life. But now here is where the emotional flip comes in because I feel this way about him about us about our lives I hate him I hate that he let me fall in love with him I hate that he swept me off my feet I hate that I even met him and I especially hate the fact that he is my one my soul mate my best friend and the love of my life and I hate that he let feel this way for him that I’ve put all my hope and trust and understanding onto one person that I’ve built a life with him and that I have no regrets whatsoever! Its gets worse because then I hate myself for feeling all of this because it doesn’t make sense it really truly doesn’t because I cant hate Jason I know I cant because the minute I feel like that I hate myself more because of it so it’s like this vicious circle of hate and honestly I hate that too!

Now you’d think it would end there but it doesn’t I spoke to Jason I actually sat him down because I felt bad and did the we need to talk but I don’t want to fight move by sitting down next to putting my head on his shoulder that he knows so well and was like alright I’m listening so I told him I told him everything but I honestly couldn’t look at him in the eye or even at his face when I was finished he kept quiet and way too quiet and eventually when I got really uncomfortable in the silence I looked up at him and he was smiling and I’m like oh god he’s so pissed at me right now when he said Sam you making more sense than you’ll ever know you going insane because if anything I think you more scared and worried than anything else and if it makes you feel any better I’m scared and worried to he then hugged and told me everything would be alright. You’d think that would make me feel better WRONG because now to add to my hate list he’s now too understanding and the fact that he’s right and that I am scared and worried and he knew that without me saying a word about it makes me hate him more!!! Damit people I’m a complete and utter ***** I don’t HATE HIM I know this but everything about my emotional flip is telling me that I do and I don’t have my frigging mother to slap me over the head and remind why I’m being a frigging IDIOT!!! I need to be SLAPPED!!!!
sammy26 sammy26
26-30, F
6 Responses Jan 12, 2011

I get emotional flips all the time. I'll feel completely fine one minute and the next minute im just feeling the total opposite and negative. Its just so frustrating sometimes. Even though I'll start off being mad at him after speaking to him about my feelings and him expressing how he felt also kinda made me feel guilty for even being negative. I think communication is key to the emotional flips. i know it could be hard since you really never know when you'll hear from them next but like what they say patience is a virtue. I never thought being so patient could hurt so much. Sometimes i feel like im going crazy just having emotions flying all over the place. I understand your frustration.<br />
<br />
keep it up girl remember behind every strong man is a stronger woman. im in this with you feel free to contact me anytime.

Is this the beginning of your freak out we've all been expecting? Sam seriously dude it's going to be fine you and Jason and everything else and everyone else will be fine you dont hate him i kind of agree with Dave - who is extremely missed by the way!!

What did he do to exactly make you hate him? You should exactly HATE him if hes the love of your life and your soul mate. To me, hate is a VERY strong word. Sure we have bad days and get mad over things. But we always still say i love you even if we're still mad at the end of a conversation. Because you never know when the last time is youll talk to someone. So i always like to say i love you to him, or anyone in my family. Yes we are all scared and worried for our men to go off, they are doing a huge duty for their country. We will miss him, but its only temporary. Try not to hate him, he needs you more then ever. Dont let your worries get ahead of you, just think about what your most important priorieties are. Him being understand is great, theres nothing wrong with being understanding. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 15 months, and he still doesnt open up about deep feelings. Because if somethings really bugging him he holds it in. and i have no ideas sometimes. So you just have to love him for who he is, only if hes making you happy.

lol yay a lecture a cant wait!

lol omg i really am Loopy am i ever going to be a 'normal' again i'm seriously from miss Bridezilla from hell to emotional to freaking hating my husband lol i should be locked up!!

LOL omg nicky i totally forgot about 'Dave' that's was like the coolest time ever and you really had to bring that up didnt you!! I cant believe you remember that!! alright so you and Jason are right and mental slap noted by the way how did and when did everyone start calling me Loops? But thanks you really helped you always do!