I Am Really Missing My MarineHi ladies, sorry it has taken me so long to write down my story i guess it is all something i'm still attempting to get used to. To be honest I was afraid to post my story because it means its all real and not just some scary dream i'll wake up from and find him lying next to me again. I miss him every second of every day but i know this will only make our love and our relationship stronger. I am finally reaching out because i really could use the support and i know it helps to read other people's stories. I have read a lot of your stories and they are incredibly inspiring and really touched me. I hope that i am able to help ease you pain and worries by telling you my story. I am always willing to talk and offer support so please contact me if you are having an especially hard time, i promise i'm a good listener.
My story begins as a whirlwind romance in high school, although i knew Stephan since middle school through his older sister who i was and still am great friends with, i only began to get close to him during my senior year. We fell in love hard and fast. He was my first love and the only person i could ever really imagine a future with. We had planned everything, only thing is i wasn't quite ready to be planning my future. I had so much i still wanted to do and this caused so many fights but i knew that no matter what i would always love him. This brought us onto some hard times in our relationship and i soon needed to leave for college. We both stayed strong for a while and i would visit as often as i could. I will never forget the first night he told me he was meeting with a recruiter and was planning on signing up for the Marines. I bawled for hours with him and told him i was terrified that i was going to loose him and wasn't sure if i would be able to handle the separation and the constant worry. I knew in that moment that this was something that had already been decided and i wasn't going to be able to change his mind no matter how hard i tried. I went back to college and was so scared that he would never be the same but i convinced myself this wouldn't be something i would have to worry about for a while because it was a long way off.
While i was at school i was texting with Stephan and he started apologizing for something i couldn't quite understand, then it all became very clear. He had cheated on me with his ex who i knew he would occasionally hang out with because they were 'just friends'. I was more angry and upset then i had ever been. I knew this was the end of us. As soon as we were officially over i found out that he was dating his ex, yea the one he cheated on me with.
Somehow we ended up remaining friends after the sting of the situation had warn off and i found a fling of my own. Well needless to say i was never really over him but i wanted to do whatever i could to get over the pain. About two years ago we started talking a lot and we got to be incredibly close. After we started hanging out again i realized that i was still in love with him. Once both of our relationships ended we decided to see if we both still had feelings for eachother. And we did. At this point he had finished basic training and became a Marine. The idea of dating a Marine had been terrifying for me since he first mentioned to me that he was talking to a recruiter and it didn't get any easier now that he was officially a Marine. We started unofficially dating and we once again fell in love hard and fast. I wanted to be sure our love was real this time. Once he invited me to the Marine Corps ball i knew i had my perfect opportunity to become his girlfriend again. This time i wanted the timing to be right since we were basically together at that point anyways. Well not to be too corny but my perfect time and place was basically handed to me on a silver platter. We were in a hotel room in myrtle beach standing on our balcony, looking out into the ocean and sipping champange. I looked at him and simply said I love you more than anything in this world Stephan, and i would be honored to be your girlfriend again. It was the most romantic and perfect moment.
After all of the perfect romance took place reality sunk back in. He deployed to Afghanistan a few weeks ago and i am having an incredibly hard time dealing with it. I am not sleeping well and i am having a hard time with the long gaps in communication. I hate not being able to know exactly where he is and the fact that i don't even know if he is ok and safe. I know he contacts me when he can i just wish i was able to have peace of mind more often that he is ok.
khoffm3 18-21, F 1 Response 0 Jan 27, 2011