Somebody Help Me...

I met my Marine just over 4 months ago.  He was in Afghanistan and Iraq for about 3 years and has been back for almost 3 yrs now.  When I first met him everything was great, we instantly clicked and became very close rather quickly, while learning what it's like dating a Marine.  He has many habits and issues from being in combat which he rarely ever talks to anyone about, and refuses to go to counseling for. Though he was fine then, a death of his Marine friend seemed to have triggered back some repressed issues.  I was once given advice by a friend in the psychology field, that it was good to try and get ppl who have post traumatic stress to talk about it.  So one night I got him to tell me things he said he never told anyone since he's been home.  We were both in tears, and it was very hard to do, but all I knew was that he slept well for a long time after that night.  Some time has passed since and he seems to be having those issues back again, having panic attacks, not sleeping well, and it's even been a while since we've had sex.  As understanding as I want to be, I sometimes feel so alone when we lay in bed together, and I don't know what to do.  And for those of you who have experienced being with a Marine who has night terrors, you know you can't just cuddle up to them while they sleep, since you may wake them in fear that they are under attack.  Last week they day before Valentine's Day I tried to have a talk with him about how emotionally distant he was becoming, and to share with me what was going on.  He got angry and all he said was "I do care for you, and said I'd take a bullet for you. Isn't that enough?"  I said it wasn't and that I needed him to share more with what was going on in his brain, and that I didn't like feeling alone even when we are physically together.  He got up and left, he was so angry and didn't even call me on Valentine's.  After 2 days passed he called me and said he wasn't mad, and that he's here for me and not going anywhere.  All I thought was, BUT U DID GO, U GOT UP AND LEFT ME WHILE I POURED MY HEART OUT TO YOU, CUZ U DIDN"T KNOW HOW TO SHARE WITH ME.  I love him and don't want to give up on him, but I don't know what to do any more.  I don't want to get stuck in a cycle.  I can't turn to anyone I know since they have never experienced a person like the man I am with.  So if anyone has any advice on how to deal, please help me...
str8upgal str8upgal
31-35, F
2 Responses Feb 17, 2008

I understand. Don't know how I manage to find these distant men! I share, yet he does not seem to be able to do the same. Marines, I think, are trained not to be in touch with their feelings. They should not be feeling any pain in combat situations. They must go on, fight on..

You must remember to fully Love the Breath of Life & Love within you. It will sustain you, protect you, and continue to give you reasons to keep going...when it all seems like rusty air. Let it open up that dry well, you Dear Spirit.<br />
You need the pure waters of the Earth and the Creator to wash you back awake. And you need to know that only Love without fear creates a new future when the spirit is right! Much Love & Many Blessings, livingwell