Knowing Its Worth It

I cant be the only one who questions if its worth it sometimes. I love my marine so much dont get me wrong, and we have been through a lot together through the years. Maybe the bad time are what have helped me build a wall where I'm used to him leaving or not being able to see me or talk to me. Is it bad to expect not to talk to him or see him? Is it bad to expect the worse. I try to be optimistic, about when i will be able to see him next and to just be thankful that i can at least talk to him sometimes. Sometimes its not even the corps lifestyle itself as much as it is him and I specifically and me wondering if he will give up on us or if I am strong enough to be in this relationship where we might be living on opposite coasts for a year or so. There is just so much that runs through my mind when it comes to our relationship and our future together and it scares me to think of where we might or might not end up. The worst thing is the people who dont understand your relationship with your marine. You know the ones that say "youre too young" or "long distance relationships never work" or "you'll meet someone new" those people are the worst. I used to just let what they say roll off my shoulder and not even think about it. No matter what i always knew that our love would overcome whatever, the fact that I have so much doubt now scares me. I don't want to feel this way I want to be able to be fully and hopelessly in love again and not have these doubts. I know that having my heart broken by my marine only a couple of months ago is the reason for this wall and these feelings, but in all that time in the past that he was so worried our relationship wouldn't work i was the one who kept reassuring him that it definitely would. Now its like the roles have switched, and I would rather not feel this way. I wish it would just go away but I know it will take time for us to build back up to what we had. Anyway, does anyone else ever have these doubts? Its definitely not easy being in love with a marine.
usmcgirl93 usmcgirl93
18-21, F
3 Responses Jan 7, 2012

I feel the same way sometimes. It's like me and my guy have been together for four years and our relationship has always been me working and him following me. I feel scared sometimes that during the year and a half that we will be apart that he will realize he doesn't need me anymore.

Your welcome.

My dear sis, one thing I can say is that you and your Marine have to communicate and once that you two have decided on what is best for you two then put blinders on and focus. Naysayers are people who can't understand or want to have more than they can reach for, so do not let none of them discourage you from being happy. It is hard to not have those feelings you are experiencing, but you have to get secure within yourself and say that I am in this and if for some reason things do not work out the way you expected for them to work out you stand tall and have no regrets. Love is beautiful and the most scariest thing in life, so you will have your doubts just re-assure it with you all's love and it will get easier and easier.

Youre so right, thank you!