Knowing Its Worth It
I cant be the only one who questions
if its worth it sometimes. I love my marine so much dont get me wrong, and we have been through a lot together through the years. Maybe the bad time are what have helped me build a wall where I'm used to him leaving or not being able to see me or talk to me. Is it bad to expect not to talk to him or see him? Is it bad to expect the worse. I try to be optimistic, about when i will be able to see him next and to just be thankful that i can at least talk to him sometimes. Sometimes its not even the corps lifestyle itself as much as it is him and I specifically and me wondering if he will give up on us or if I am strong enough to be in this relationship where we might be living on opposite coasts for a year or so. There is just so much that runs through my mind when it comes to our relationship and our future together and it scares me to think of where we might or might not end up. The worst thing is the people who dont understand your relationship with your marine. You know the ones that say "youre too young" or "long distance relationships never work" or "you'll meet someone new" those people are the worst. I used to just let what they say roll off my shoulder and not even think about it. No matter what i always knew that our love would overcome whatever, the fact that I have so much doubt now scares me. I don't want to feel this way I want to be able to be fully and hopelessly in love again and not have these doubts. I know that having my heart broken by my marine only a couple of months ago is the reason for this wall and these feelings, but in all that time in the past that he was so worried our relationship wouldn't work i was the one who kept reassuring him that it definitely would. Now its like the roles have switched, and I would rather not feel this way. I wish it would just go away but I know it will take time for us to build back up to what we had. Anyway, does anyone else ever have these doubts? Its definitely not easy being in love with a marine.