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What Happened To Us??

Today my boyfriend graduated from bootcamp in Parris Island! i was soo excited to see him and i have missed him so much! he had about 10 friends from highschool there along with his family and i to support him. After they were dismissed all his friends ran out to see him and i felt left out from the whole process i got one 2 sec hug with a few words along the lines of thanks for coming you look beautiful and he only took 5 pictures with me. I missed school and a cheer game so now i don't letter for varsity cheer to go to SC and be there for him and i feel like he could care less whether i was there or not. He texted a few times but we haven't had a legit conversation and he hasn't kissed me yet and didn't want to hang out tonight!! i don't undersand! i missed him so much and hes acting like him leaving for 3 months was no big deal!! He different like hes a lot quieter and woln't smile!! I just want him to care about me and what i really want is to just talk, face to face. have like a 3 hour conversation so we can catch up because commmunicating through letters for three months is hard!! sorry i just needed to spill some of my frustration! did anyone have a similar situation and if you did how did you solve it or how would you try and work things out??
alyssanicole8 alyssanicole8 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 20, 2012

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I've been having a hard time since my boyfriend came home. He graduated the same day as your Marine. He is so distant and has put up an emotional wall. He would never curse me out and would hardly ever raise his voice to me, but he has done both those things more than once since he has been on his leave. It is freaking me out. I feel like I don't know him anymore. I can't talk to him the way I used to. He used to try to make me feel better, and now he's just like telling me to suck it up. I know that's what he has heard for 3 months, but he was still himself in his letters. I knew he would change, but I expected it to be in terms of maturity and accountability. I didn't think he would come home and speak to me like a dog. I've had the same issues with him expressing his feelings to me. He's like, "you know I love you. Why are you so insecure that I need to say it all the time?" It isn't an insecurity issue. It is that I haven't heard his voice in 3 months and it makes me happy every time I hear those words out of his mouth. I know how he feels about me, but it is still nice to hear it, you know? We've been together a year and a half. Before he left, I was 100% sure I wanted to marry this man. We are both in our mid-twenties. I can't even imagine marrying him anymore. At this point, I'm just taking things slow. If things don't change, then I know it is time to move on. He used to be so kind, gentle, and loving. I just want the person I love back and I don't know if that will ever happen.

yes yes yes i can totally relate to everything you said!!! he was normal and himself in all his letters but when i got to see him in person he is short with me and distant. he wolnt text me even now he woln't reply and acts like everything we had before bootcamp never happened! Unfortunatly in my situation, he just broke up with me!! i am heartbroken but i know with his new self that ill be happier moving on.

dont worry about it when my boyfriend graduated i went down to see him and he hugged me for like a second..their not allowed to do much more then that. he was really distant at first too but i think its just because they teach them to be so tough and not show any emotion that they have a hard time coming back to reality at first but when he finally was out of his uniform and relaxed and hugged and kissed me it was like the best thing in the world every emotion will just come back. honestly it doesnt get easier but you'll learn to work things out together and figure out how to stay close to eachother in the time he's gone. my boyfriends been gone for a year and is coming back soon and ive never been more excited for anything in my entire life..just spend as much time with him as possible while he is back and cherish it because then its something you can look back on when he's gone again and smile thinking of the good times just be happy with him as much as possible! good luckk i wishh you thee best! :)

Don't worry about it too much! My boyfriend's family wouldn't even leave him or us alone for 5 minutes.. And really all he said was hi.. i think this was just a combination of him not use to being around friends and family and his family bugging him the entire time! I still think the trip was worth it tho(: when we did finally get alone time and he gave me a lil kiss, it was like our first kiss and all those feelings made me remember why I waited 3 months for him. Dont let his actions right now get you down.. Give him some time to adjust to being back home.. Hope it all works out! (: