Need Advice .. Again :/

 Two days ago my guy left to go to another state for the next few months. We didn't talk much the day before he left, he told me he was busy packing and getting ready & then I did the stupid thing I always do where I asked him what we are right now. After I asked him that, I heard nothing.. I even texted him 2am the day he was leaving asking to know when he got there alright, and asking him if it meant we wouldn't talk much for awhile. It's been two days and he hasn't said anything to me .. I've sent him over 16 texts (crazy, I know). I don't know if he's just so busy he can't text me, or if it's something else. For awhile, all of my iMessages were going to text.. but now they're back to iMessages so I'm sure his phones on..
  To give you a little background (if you haven't read my other stories) we're going through a rough time.. he want's to be sure that he can trust me. He's flat out told me that he wants to push me until I can't take it to see if I'll still choose him. Things were going so good last week .. he was back to his normal self, calling me, falling asleep on the phone with me. He even called me to give me advice after I failed my intubation test in class, and texted me to tell me I could do it the next day. How does that turn into this so fast? The week before he left he was telling me to either come see him, or wait til he comes home for a weekend.. I don't know to read him. I don't understand his actions most of the time. He's close & distant all at the same time ...
  I'm seriously losing it .. I can barely even go to class right now. I just sit around wondering if I did something wrong. I text him everything, even though I get no response. I'm an emotional train wreck ... 
XDenaMarieX XDenaMarieX
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 6, 2012

i definitely agree with what all these other comments are saying about how he's treating you is wrong and he should NOT be trying to push you to your limits. that being said, it's definitely not unheard of for them to do completely terrible things when they have it in their heads that either 1-theres no such thing as a faithful military SO or 2-they hate how attached they are to their SO...sounds kinda dumb, but my friend went through it with her bf after his 2nd deployment and then we met with a psychologist about it and apparently it happens pretty often. but all that aside is he training somewhere that he actually gets signal or where he's allowed to have his phone? I'm definitley not trying to make excuses for him tho. you may want to really consider how you feel about being treated this way...all because you wanted to know where you were in ur relationship?? sounds kinda nuts. if you wanna vent or talk, message me anytime. <br />
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Emotionally abusing someone (what he's doing to you) is NOT the way to show the person's trust. It's to get deep down and get to you. And hurt you. So he wants to hurt you and see if you'll take it? How much hurt will you take? not how much can he push you away. BS BS BS BS. I'm sorry this may sound harsh, but NOONE deserves that, and his way to trust you shouldn't be ignoring you. And you said this happens (or something happens) every time you ask where you two are? Sounds fishy. He sounds douchey.

Girl, that just sounds like bs to me. You deserve to be treated so much better than that! I agree it does sound like games. That doesn't mean he has moved on, but it still not fair to you. I think you had every right to ask where y'all stand, and him not answering is just rude. On the other hand, my boyfriend gets his phone taken up every week and gets it back on weekends. Maybe he just isn't allowed to have his phone on him right now. Don't freak out too much until y'all talk but I would cut back on the texts for now.

I could see if a whole day went by and he really was just so busy that he couldn't text you. But no one goes non stop without even a 30 seconds to shoot you text apologizing for ignoring you and that they can call you later. That is in no way fair to you. So my advice is just stop texting. Stop calling. Then when he finally does call you ignore him. My husband could be so busy that he can't even stop to eat or even catch his breath, but he always called me or texted me to let me know that he was really busy and that he would call me before bed. Don't let him "test" you because that is such BS. That like you saying you're going to ignore him for awhile to make sure that you know he is going to be a good boyfriend. I mean come on! That is so dumb. You two should be getting closer right now. Talking about really important decisions you will have to make someday. He should be asking you how you would handle things while he is gone. What he is doing to you right now is not a relationship. He wants you to obsess over it and call him 20 times or text him a bunch. Just don't give him the satisfaction.

Maybe hes just not that into you no more. Jus sayin.. Looks like hes playing games with you.