Vip Lounge For Troops Singles Only :(Last week I wrote my boyfriend an email about how hurt I was that he would comment on his mom's, friends', and other girls' facebook walls, pictures, etc, but NEVER wrote anything on mine, or private messaged me. I went FIVE entire days with ZERO contact but had to watch him have an 87 comment conversation with his buddy and some chick all over his buddy's wall. It crushed me. I was thinking if you can talk to them, why cant talk to me?! So, per some amazing advice, (you know who you are), I emailed him in a very sweet and calm way that I felt hurt, ignored, and unimportant. Well, as he SHOULD have, he felt super terrible, felt like he was failing as my partner, and he promised he would put my feelings first and use any type of communication necessary to talk to me. I went to bed happy and he was super sweet during his other emails. THAT was on Thursday.
FRIDAY- I log into FB and the FIRST thing I see is "Ian liked this photo" and the pic was a half naked chick with her *** hanging out. So, being the naturally curious AND jealous type I clicked to see who she was and wtf he was doing! It wasn't a person he knows, probably wasn't a person at all, but it was from a group called, "VIP lounge for the Troops- SINGLES only" Well, FIRST of all- he sure as heck aint single LAST time I checked and second of all- the "rules" of the group are you must be single, you can post your info, a pic if you want, where you are stationed, and you can meet with these nasty women to do "whatever" but you have to have served or be serving currently. The VERY day after I tell my bf he hurt my feelings by TALKING TO HIS MOM INSTEAD OF ME- he thinks it would be totally cool to like SIX (upon further investigation I found he liked SIX pics) and even commented, "wow talk about gorgeous" on one of them. I balled my eyes out and THREW my laptop. My best friend could see it on his wall too and she wrote to him telling him how nasty they were and he needed to stop. I mean, it was public- his 13 yo sister could see it- HIS GRANDMOTHER? And ME! I didnt talk to him right away because I was furious and heartbroken. I'm not super big or anything but I have SERIOUS insecurity problems, that he KNOWS about, and I in no way shape or form look anything like the girls he was checking out.
So, Saturday comes along and by this point, he KNOWS something is up because he had been able to email, but my replies were short and almost hostile. I wasn't trying to play games, but I was trying not to pretend like everything was ok, and not sure how to bring it up without chopping his head off. He finally called and asked me what was up... That was when I realized how badly I was hurting because I didnt even want to answer and I hadnt talked to him in a week and a half. I should have been elated at the sound of his voice, but I was just sad.
It was my best friend's, (the one who wrote on his wall) birthday party, so I told Ian I would tell him why I was sad later cause I didnt want to cry my makeup off. He agreed, then emailed a few minutes later saying he probably already knows why I am upset, but to tell him anyways. So, after a few beers, I told him thru email, I said, "I am sad about the group and pictures you liked on facebook" He wrote back a very lengthy email, it BASICALLY said this, "yes they are hot and sexy, no I dont want to hook up with them, I am loyal and faithful to you, you are my one and only, but they are just pictures and it isnt like you have never found another guy sexy. Same principle" By the time I read that email I think I RAN to the bar to down more shots. I was heartbroken. I finally had the courage to tell him I didnt like it and he defended himself? He acted like I was guilty of doing the same thing- which I have NEVER done! I was like really? I didnt respond and then my phone died. :( The next morning I wake up to three emails, and several texts of him freaking out with worry and I didnt do it intentionally, but I think his worrying about me made him think more about what he did and what he said after I told him why I was sad. For his status he put, "WOW. I see where she is coming from, I should have known from the start" Which sounds like I was the one who did something bad, but I asked him and he said he felt terrible and totally understood my point of view. He called like four times on the verge of tears telling me how much he loves me and how big of an ******* he was. I checked his facebook and he unliked the page and didnt have any of those pictures on there anymore. I could NEVER be with a man who checks out other women in front of me. I know men are men and when they are with their buddies gosh- I dont even want to know what they say about beautiful women, but when he is with me- I dont care how pretty another girl is, I am the one that SUPPORTS him and lays in my bed alone missing him night after night-- not that hot babe!
His mom called me and asked what the heck was going on because she could see everything on FB- she knew something was wrong, so I told her the jist of it and she talked to me about how he would NEVER intentionally hurt me and although the timing was bad with my first email, she knows how insensitive men can be without realizing it and she knows he loves me.
The next time he called he told me I am more than he could ever dream of and he will never hurt me like that again. So, my weekend sucked at first, but looking back I am really glad it happened, because it opened us both up to talking about the awkward stuff more, and I feel so much closer to him. Also, after three weeks of one or two emails and one call- in one weekend I swear I got 50 emails and like 8 calls! :) And this week he has made a point to email alot more than he has been. I guess moral of the story is GIRLS- as much as it hurts to lay your feelings out there-- DO IT! It may not always have a good ending like mine did, but at least they will know where you stand on those types of issues! Thanks for reading, sorry its long!
lovethewhale 22-25, F 6 Responses 1 Mar 7, 2012