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Alone.

I swear im bipolar or something. My husband has been gone almost a month and im still in shock i guess you could say. . . I found a job at a daycare about 2weeks ago. I worked 3days and i quit; it was horrible. I found a job at cvs and start sunday! Until recently i have been fine. I mean i should be used to him being gone by now right?! this is our second deployment and he hasnt even been back a year. I have been having mental breakdowns and im not even a cryer. My best friend is in the army but stationed here in GA. So we see each other often but not enough. She is my main support system and i feel so alone. I know this is what i wanted to come home to be around family for this deployment but its not at all what i was expecting. This is probably the hardest deployment we have been through emotionally together. I mean the last one was hard....really hard. It was a combat deployment so he was constantly outside the wire. I got multiple phone calls from the fro saying things people hope to never have to hear. I feel like a 80y/o in a 20y/o body. After living together for 10months and growing together the military life never gets easier...it gets harder. I cant even begin to imagine what he is going through if i feel like this.

just needed something to talk to i know this makes no sense really but ya know. <3
michellecars2010 michellecars2010 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 23, 2012

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Remember the hump we all talking about - well welcome to your hump! Go with it seriously its hard but just run with it you'll get over it you used to being there and its tough but you know at some point you'll get through because you know you have to take it one day at a time - you got this just keep doing!!

First off you not bi polor haha!! We all have times like this, and in this kind of relationship it's totally normal! My husband s currently deployed and the first month was so hard to adjust to not seeing him and not having is support in my life. You're going through a lot of changes right now, jobs, not having him, not having your biggest support all of that would make any of us crazy and it's ok! I normally am not a crier and not emotional but this deployment sent me into a emotional whirlwind I didn't even know was possible! The best advice I got was from a friend down at my husbands ba<x>se and she told me it's ok to be sad, to hurt, to cry, and to even be angry, we have to let those emotions out in order to deal with them. Seperation from the most important person in your life is the hardest thing emotionally on you and you have every right to any emotion your feeling. But you have to let it out and then pick yourself up and try to refocus yourself on something positive. I thought as time passed it would just stop and I could be normal again, and in a way I have learned how to put it at the back of my mind but there are still days where I will randomly just start crying and I don't even know what started it! It's never going to feel right being away from your love, and it's never going to be completely easy, but you learn how to deal with it and minimize the momens where your simply freaking out! haha Having moments that break you doesn't make you weak, it makes you a human that has the biggest chunk of their life missing. It hurts and it's ok. You can always come here and let it out, and feel free to message me if you ever need to just vent or need support, that's what we are here for. :)

thank you that means a lot! :) Im doing better for now ;)

That's good! And just remember, your going to be better and then you'll have your moments again and it's ok! We all go through it. Just try to pick something positive to focus on once your down having a break down haha

I'm so sorry you had such a short time between deployments! Stress physically changes your body and mind, you aren't going crazy. "This too shall pass" is the mantra I have for lonely times. It sucks and seems endless when you are in it, and then one day it is over, and you are on to the next season of life. (((hugs)))

thanks i appreciate it! :)

Thank yall so much!! Just what i needed!! :) Im so glad i got back on here and met you ladies!! Feel free to message me also if you ever need to talk!!

Every time our men our gone its going to be different because every time they leave we are different people. Our emotions are different each time depending on where we are at in life. Sometimes you will be fine and life will go on almost as normal, obviously with less of them in our lives. Other times we are going to be a hot mess. It has to do with other things not just with them, family stuff, your friend being farther away, what happened with your marine before he left, how his family is with you, a job or not having one. All of these things are interconnected so if one thing is hard they all will be hard and things that normally wouldn't bother us set us off.<br />
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Just find a ways to get a smile each day and you're on the right track. And vent here when you need to, that's what we are for :-)

I couldnt have said it better myself.

Hey girl! I haven't gone through a deployment yet, but my fiance has been away more than half the time we've been dating so I kinda know the feeling. It gets harder every day for me too even though I can talk to him every day. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me anytime.