I Am the Girlfriend, Fiance, Or Wife of a United States Marine
This week has been a whirlwind of emotions! I almost can't take it. So right now we are about 5 months done with this deployment! Yayyy which makes me so beyond excited! I should be moving into our on base house in about a month! Soon after that my hubby will be home! Finally! Which sends me into utter anxiety because it's so damn close but seems soooo far away still! I don't know where the last 5 months have gone, but lately the days seem to be draging on! I think it's because I see the light at the end of the tunnel getting bigger... -_- Not fair.... I def thought at this point I'd be like damn it's almost over, but I'm just feeling like CAN'T IT JUST BE OVER! Haha Other factors obviously are playing into these emotions.
*vent*
So last week a friend's husband finally came home! Which no joke, I had butterflies when she was texting me telling me that those God foresaken white busses were spotted in Joshua Tree for her! (I saw God foresaken because those white busses take them away and bring them home from deployment, it's a very bitter sweet sight) I was so excited that she was finally going to have her husband home!!!! It almost felt like Ty was coming home just because I could relate to her excitement so much! Which made me happy and I was like GAHHH I'm almost to that point! Haha
Then I went to base for another friend's baby shower, which was so nice. On the way into base I saw the fence decorated with welcome home banners and her husbands (above friend) platoon on the fence. Which made me so happpy but then in a way like ok, now I need to see my husband's platoon up there! Haha Well the baby shower was great. I had to go to support my fellow marine wife, not only is she a wonderful person and offered so much support during my wedding, but he husband got sent to New Zealand last minute for training for his upcoming deployment on three days notice... Which was aweful for her! They planned for him to be at the baby shower, because he's going to be deployed when their daughter is born.... Then just like that the Corps snatched him up and took him away from the baby shower and the birth of their first child. I was honestly mad at the Corps for doing that to them... Which I know is silly because I know NO ONE has control over the Corps, (besides the president and all the uppers but still lol) I was still mad!!!!
Then at the baby shower, one of my best friends at base husband was deploying this week.... So I said goodbye to him and prayed for his saftey.... But then it hit me.... My best friend at this base is leaving!!! She's heading back to her home town for deployment. But worse, they are getting PCSd after this deployment. So their house was all packed up. She was leaving 29 for good.... Which just broke my heart, one of my biggest suppport during this whole deployment, the girl I could always ask for advice on how to cope, and to warn me which marine wives to avoid at base and all the ropes of 29 palms... Is going to be gone! :( I honestly did not want to say good bye... Although I'm visiting her in the summer cause my husband's home town is right near her home town, so we will always have MI.... But I can't go to her house and hang out with her and drink wine and play with her son and cuddle with her dog or anything anymore whenever I want.... :( Totally horrible for my mojo during this last dash to the finish line for this deployment.
I had not spoken with my husband for awhile, no real emails nothing for about 2 weeks... Which was hard, but I'd just email him and tell him what was going on and what I was going through and it'd make me feel better a little. I cried a little a few days ago just because of everything listed above and just wanting to talk to my husband.... Then I got to talk to him and it sent me over the edge I think.
He skyped me, but things weren't working with Skype... Shocker. So we could only hear each other and couldn't see even a pixel picture. We only talked for 10 mintues. When he said he had to go I just wanted to scream! It was not long enough for everything I'd been feeling all week. It hurt to hear his voice, even though I was beyond happy to talk, it hurt to hear how much he missed me and how hard this was for him. It hurts to not remember how it feels when he kisses me. it's like being addicted to smoking and only getting one puff of a cig and then putting it out... So we hung up, I sat in my bed, and started doing like deep breaths to try and calm down. Then my brother walked in right at that moment to share something, saw me and automatically asked me if I was ok... That was all I needed, someone to ask, are you ok? and for me to just break down into an ugly sob and start rambling things I'm sure he could hardly understand. Haha Then he talked me through it, reminded me how we made it through most of it, we are almost done and everything is going to be ok again. I think that was all I really needed at that moment, for someone to just remind it's natural not to remember their kiss exactly it's human you can't physically remember their kiss like you can the first part of the deployment and it's ok, to remind me how far we've made it, how close the end is, how soon it will be till I kiss him again, to acknowledge what I was feeling, and tell me it is going to be ok.
I calmed down, but now it's 2am and I can't freaking sleep!!!! I'm ready for this to be done. I;m ready to just be with my husband again. We've made it so far, well over 200 days apart, I'm ready to feel my husband and be reminded of his kiss again. Now I need to just get back on the right track and push through this till the end. Just in a deployment funk again, ughhhh the worst kind of funk I've ever dealt with.
Ok end *vent* deep breath....
*vent*
So last week a friend's husband finally came home! Which no joke, I had butterflies when she was texting me telling me that those God foresaken white busses were spotted in Joshua Tree for her! (I saw God foresaken because those white busses take them away and bring them home from deployment, it's a very bitter sweet sight) I was so excited that she was finally going to have her husband home!!!! It almost felt like Ty was coming home just because I could relate to her excitement so much! Which made me happy and I was like GAHHH I'm almost to that point! Haha
Then I went to ba
Then at the baby shower, one of my best friends at ba
I had not spoken with my husband for awhile, no real emails nothing for about 2 weeks... Which was hard, but I'd just email him and tell him what was going on and what I was going through and it'd make me feel better a little. I cried a little a few days ago just because of everything listed above and just wanting to talk to my husband.... Then I got to talk to him and it sent me over the edge I think.
He skyped me, but things weren't working with Skype... Shocker. So we could only hear each other and couldn't see even a pixel picture. We only talked for 10 mintues. When he said he had to go I just wanted to scream! It was not long enough for everything I'd been feeling all week. It hurt to hear his voice, even though I was beyond happy to talk, it hurt to hear how much he missed me and how hard this was for him. It hurts to not remember how it feels when he kisses me. it's like being addicted to smoking and only getting one puff of a cig and then putting it out... So we hung up, I sat in my bed, and started doing like deep breaths to try and calm down. Then my brother walked in right at that moment to share something, saw me and automatically asked me if I was ok... That was all I needed, someone to ask, are you ok? and for me to just break down into an ugly sob and start rambling things I'm sure he could hardly understand. Haha Then he talked me through it, reminded me how we made it through most of it, we are almost done and everything is going to be ok again. I think that was all I really needed at that moment, for someone to just remind it's natural not to remember their kiss exactly it's human you can't physically remember their kiss like you can the first part of the deployment and it's ok, to remind me how far we've made it, how close the end is, how soon it will be till I kiss him again, to acknowledge what I was feeling, and tell me it is going to be ok.
I calmed down, but now it's 2am and I can't freaking sleep!!!! I'm ready for this to be done. I;m ready to just be with my husband again. We've made it so far, well over 200 days apart, I'm ready to feel my husband and be reminded of his kiss again. Now I need to just get back on the right track and push through this till the end. Just in a deployment funk again, ughhhh the worst kind of funk I've ever dealt with.
Ok end *vent* deep breath....
By:
Jordan29Palms
Age:
18-21
,
Female
