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I Need You Guys Most!

Hey everyone,

I just need some prayers and advice. I just got the most awful news that one of our great friends, and my boyfriends best friend passed away a few hours ago. I am honestly lost...I dont know what to say, everyone is calling me telling me to call Patrick, and I just dont have to words. He called me and told me he needs to figure things out. I completely understand that because I already lost 2 of my close friends and now Ryan. Patrick's yonger brother just called me crying and girls I dont know what to say...this is killing me. Everyone is telling me to make sure he is not feeling alone when honestly everyone is leaving me alone...Ryan and I were supposed to go see Patrick in May. I stuck at school and everyone is together right now. I can' t be home I have exams tomorrow and the rest of the week. I need my friends I need to be home but I need to be there for Patrick and I dont know how to be. I texted him saying, 'Babe, I know I do not have the right words to say and no one will. Losing a close friend isn't easy, trust me I know. I've already lost two and now Kehoe (we all call him by his last name). But you can't let it break you, I can tell you Kehoe does not want to se you crying right now, he would never want to hurt you. We say that God gave me you for the ups and downs and its true I'm here, you can call me or text me any time of the day or night, I'll always answer. Jus tknow that you are not going through this alone i'm right here beside you. I love you Patrick and please please don't blame yourself."

I need some advice on what to do...I know when I lost my friends I just didn't want to be around anyone or talk to anyone because no one understood but I know that I can't leave Patrick to feel alone by himself 800 miles away from all of us.

Please pray for us.


Ryan Kehoe
4.29.12
jesspatt22 jesspatt22 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 29, 2012

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Hey I'm sorry about your friend. You'll get through this. I think in all honesty you said exactly what he needed to hear. The way I would handle things from now on is to call him once a day and just tell him what's going on in life, your friend told you a funny joke share it, the sun is warm on your skin and made you smile tell him. He needs some form of normalcy and someone not to alienate him. I know you need the same thing and I hope we can provide that for you in some way. Let him know that there are still good things in life and if he chooses to talk about his friend then talk, tell stories and things that remind you of the friend. He will grieve in his own way and if he's like me he might just get mad at the world...that's ok, if he's overly happy just to try and get through it that's ok too. There is no right or wrong way for anyone to deal with this stuff so however you deal is just fine. Let him know that his way of dealing with it is normal and that your there for whatever. He knows if you could physically be there right now you would, your schooling is important and he knows that you have to do what you have to do. Maybe when you do make it home go to the cemetery or where ever reminds you of the friend and just get some healing in for both of you. Doing things together and remembering that things can still make you happy is ok...your friend would want that

I am so so sorry. I don't know what to tell you except that you are doing the right thing being there for him...but clearly this man was your friend too. You need to let yourself grieve as well. I will be praying for you and yours today....I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

First sorry for your lost. Second your doing what you can do letting him know it's not his fault and that you'll always be there when he needs you.after A death people respond differently it may take him a couple of days to call you but he will and when he does is not that you don't know what to say it's just the fact that your behind him is all that counts.

Thank you, its just so hard being this far and its not fair the corps wont give him the leave time. He's called me 4 times but its just him crying and saying he needs time...trust me no one can help you get over a loss, only you can do that for yourself, the only thing i can do is make sure he knows he's not alone but I dont want him to bottle up his emotions and then be so hurt he loses himself in this time of sorrow.

Praying for you! I definitely think you did the right thing by texting him and letting him know you are there whenever he needs you. I'm sure he really appreciates that. Losing someone close to you is awful but you just gotta keep your head up and move forward, gotta think that he is in a better place now! Just focus on getting your exams done, this week will fly by. I would just call your friends whenever you can for the moral support!

thank you very much, I moved all my exams to the next two days so I can get home and be with our friends and do all I can do from there. I just don't know what to say or if I should check up on him because I know as being a Marine they have totally changed the way he handles emotion...