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Help Please I Need Advise =/

So I need some advise. You see my marine and I are recently back together, and the one thing I LOVVVEE about him is that I can trust him, I don't worry about other girls with him. But on facebook there's this girl who I grew up with and know very well and happens to be a druggy/criminal/ just not a good person who my boyfriend worked with one summer and is now trying to help get her into the marines. I don't worry about him with her because she's not his type and he thinks she's a crack addict. But my mother who is overly involved in EVERYTHING pulls up all these posts she's ,making on my boyfriends parents facebooks (She The girl who my parents seem to think is after my man knows were back together), n talking about how he told her everything that happened with his flight last night, now I am one to jump to conclusions so to me I thought he called her, when he didn't even call me. But I thought about it and she could have messaged his last night on facebook asking why the heck he's still home and found out then. But I don't know, and my mother is really starting to get to me and I want to ask my boyfriend about it but I know I shouldn't, because he has so much to deal with already....What do I do, I don't like feeling like this, and I know that if he hears my voice he'll know I'm upset and not saying anything and I don't know which will bother him more. Can someone please help and let me know.
StillStrong15 StillStrong15 18-21, F 2 Responses May 1, 2012

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If you are in a serious relationship with this guy, you should not have to hesitate to ask him plainly what happened. After all, negotiating and working things out is part of a good relationship. No matter what he is going through, it should not stress him out to answer a simple question. Perhaps you need to tell your mother that you would like to handle your relationships yourself without her input. My own take on it is that older women are often right about these things because we older chicks know that guys are almost never faithful to girlfriends, and, in fact, most husbands aren't even faithful to wives according to all surveys from Kinsey to Gallup to Roper. So it makes sense to be aware of that. However, it is your choice whether to accept your mother's feedback or input or not. If it bothers you, tell her.

Honestly ask your mom respectfully to back off. before she said anything you didn't feel this way. My mom has done similar stuff, little different situation but she thought she was helping by telling me everything she was telling me. On day when I wasn't ticked off at her for putting ideas in my head i said calmly and respectfully, "Mom it really doesn't help when you bring some of this stuff up. Actually it makes life harder because when you tell me how you feel about certain things I get paranoid. it doesn't make me feel better and I end up jumping to conclusions about events that didn't even exist in the first place. I would appreciate it if you could just let me read and come to my own conclusions about the situation." My mom apologized and backed off...it might not work but you never know till you try. And if she continues ask her why she's trying to make your think so negatively about your boyfriend who has never done anything to make you think otherwise.

I've tried that many times, and asked her why she persists on telling me everything and her answer is she feels i should know these things....And no thats true i have nothing to worry about when my mother isnt involved...But do you think i should ask My Marine about it the next time he calls?

yea especially if it's bothering you otherwise you will just keep thinking about it...chances are he will tell you you are a silly woman and worry too much

Thank you so much this helped a lot.

yea message me if you wanna talk or just need someone to listen

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