well sadly, Patrick and I weren't able to pull through this tragedy and he broke up with me right before the funeral and a day before my birthday :( I'm just a mess and this was the last thing I had ever expected but I guess it will make him happier. I just dont know where to go from here, I love this man so so so much and I know he's the one but what do I do now? I dont want to sit here and wait around for him because he could never come back but I dont want to fully move on and I dont want to take him back the first time he comes back because he's already done that once...he needs to learn what he has and I dont think he realizes it...what do I do?
jesspatt22 jesspatt22
18-21, F
7 Responses May 7, 2012

Alright let me fill you all in on what has been going on, <br />
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So after we broke up the next day I tried to get answers but it only turned into a fight and made me even more upset, so then the next day we talked as friends and I was just trying to be there for him and then (wednesday) we were talking and he was just acting so depressed and he was saying how he didnt deserve anything good in his life so I called him and I was trying to cheer him up and talk him through it and just make him happy, and it worked. So I thought everything was okay and I was content being friends, I mean its better than the silent treatment. But yesterday his mom and borther called me asking me to come over so I was like okay, I'll stick it out and go see them and I had to drop stuff off in his room anyways. I asked my bestfriend to go with me and as soon as I got to her house the first thing she says is oh, Duffy called me today and sounded so happy to talk to me -_- which crushed me because we hadn't talked yet today but he could call her :( but oh well I stuck it out and was like oh thats great. So we get to his house and his mom was so excited to see both of us! (My best friend is also best friends with Patrick or Dufffy as everyone calls him) So then we are sitting at the table talking about our friend who had passed away and kelsea goes Duffy just texted me and sat there and texted him the whole dinner finally after dinner I just made up the excuse I had to be home at a certain time. I was so crushed I cried the whole way home which is 20 mins...I also texted his mom and thanked her and she knew something was wrong because I normally stay till midnight so I told her and she was like I noticed that and I did not like it one bit so she was upset also. WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO HIM???? This is the worst feeling in the world so I called up this boy who has been asking to take me out on a date so came over and picked me up and we went out and got ice cream and I helped him pick out a mothers day present but I just could not think of anyone else but Patrick....I am so lost, I just want to be happy but I can't, I dont know how to move pass this but I deleted his number, pictures and old texts from my phone trying to move on but I am just crushed what do I do?

Oh I am so so sorry :/ it's true though you are not alone, I know every sweet lady here is here for you and even though that may not feel like much maybe little by little you will come to be okay again....every one is different in how they deal with grief, I think he probably is just confused and lost right now and will come to his senses. If there is anything I can do please message me....you are not alone!! You're in my prayers sweetie and stay strong! *hugs*

You know i missed like a whole chapter in here - how could i have missed this!! I'm really really sorry you going through this and i know its rough!! AJ and i went through something similar not so long ago and not the same but he had his first KIA and and the guy was standing right next to him and really it messed him up he went through weeks of blaming himself and like a whole bunch of other stuff he felt that because he was in charge he had a responsibility and he let them all down he thought i'd deserved better and i was the first thing he pushed away and honestly we fought constantly he broke up with me so many times that i lost count and honestly it was really rough but we got through i wasnt going anywhere i was there to stay and he had no choice in the matter besides i refused to break up with him in the middle of a deployment and he just had to deal with it - for you this was his best friend its rough and its tough i agree the only thing you can do right know is just support him he's dealing with a huge amount right now and probably not thinking straight at all!! right now he needs to know you solid and needs to know he can rely on you for support so be that support and be there for him and good luck i hope this works out.<br />
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And again i'm so sorry i didnt see your story i feel terrible!!!

I love you Jess I promise you whatevers meant to happen will. IM HERE FOR YOU so shush about that and you will get through this. Youre right he does need to understand what he has and he will eventually. you no im here whenever love yaa

I am so sorry this has happened to you ! No one deserves this.. It is definitely not easy to lose some one so dear. But don't feel hopeless, we are here for you. Those around you need to take and process their loss.. and I know your Marine will come around, he isn't thinking clearly at the moment. Let him know you wont leave his side on this rough time.. Hang in there, just like everyone else said, be supportive and be strong. Death always comes.. no matter young or old, and we all gotta cope with it .. with friends and loved ones. My deepest condolences goes out to you and the family.

:( wish i could give you a hug girl! <3 i don't really have any advice to add what they said but do what you can to make yourself happy. you don't have to fully move on or put your life at a stand still waiting for him. just be you, do the stuff that makes you feel good and make sure you give yourself the time to heal...and maybe once he has the time to heal he'll come back around, just don't let him get away with not knowing how this all hurt you. Text me if you need ANYTHING <3

Exactly what loving darcelle said... we're here for you girl if you need to talk. But continue to stand by your man and show him that through everything you still love and support him... grieving is tough to go through and he may not say it but I'll bet he would appreciate you being there for him through it.... its tough what our men go through so us ladies have to stick together and be stronger for our men. Good luck and i hope all works out for you!