Patience Is Running Thin!

OK..so Ryan will be home for leave in 57 days! I am so so so excited. As it gets closer it seems to go by faster but then there are those days that just drag on. It seems to fly by when i keep busy with friends, but my friends have a life too so the days i am stuck at home with nothing to do i tend to get depressed and i am having more and more of those days. i thought i would cry less the closer it got but in actuality i cry WAY more. way more. We try to skype every night and it gets harder to get off every night. and its always at night that i cant stop thinking about it all. then my brain runs on 1000mph and i break down. it sucks. And to top it off, they have asked him like three times in the past month and a half if he wants to deploy. he keeps saying no that he wants to be married and at least me moved down there before he goes. And i cant help but to feel like I am standing in the way. he says he wants to but me and him is his number one right now. getting me down there and some time together before being apart that long. I told him i feel like i am stopping him from furthering his career as a marine but he tells me know this is his choice and if he wanted to go that bad he would tell me and he would go. i am scared though that it going to come to the point where they won't give him a choice and they are just going to make him go. and it that it will be before the wedding next july. Everything is just hitting me at once. and the patience i had a couple months ago is running thin and i need someone to talk to me. :/ i feel alone right now because my friends dont understand what i am going through....ugh. sorry for ranting.
khfuller52792 khfuller52792
18-21, F
3 Responses May 9, 2012

Keep your head up high, it may seem like your going through a lot but its all going to be okay...only time can tell. Its better not to think about everything because thats where the stress comes and depression. Why not just count down the days he'll be home and then when that's over think about the marriage and moving :). I hope everything works out for you and Ryan :)

bet others are going to ay the same he will not come back what left and you need to think about that before you say i do the change is seldom for the good when you face death it does something to you<br />
and yes he wants to be married as noone wants to die know they left no one behind them other them parents<br />
<br />
been there but it was mky wife that was killed and i lived for some reason

there is no doubt in my mind i will say i do. him and i had a long conversation about the risks chances of stuff. I am going to stay by his side no matter what.

I think your mans right... all are men do want to deploy but he puts you first because he loves you. And that's great!! Don't put yourself down by stating that you feel that your in his way... if he really wanted too he would have. Hopefully they don't make him before the wedding. I know its hard when you feel lonely I get the same way... just keep remembering that he'll almost be home to you and you'll be in his arms again... and when you feel that your heads running 1000mph just stop and take a couple deep breathes.... maybe even plan something special for when he arrives. But continue to try to keep busy... I know its hard because its hard for me too... and congratulations to the two of you!! If you want to talk you can message me anytime!! :-)<br />
Semper Fi

thank you so much! and that planning something special when he comes home...i might have to try that :) and i will for sure message you sometime i am sure.

Thats great!! I'm happy for you. And the planning something special for the both of you should be fun!! :-)