Me And My ****** Love Life In A Nutshell...more Or Less!

Hey guys, I just wanted to share a lil bit of my life with you...I'm S, that's what my friends call me, 22 years old, and I'm italian! Anyway since
I've always been so sensitive and caring and in love with love I've got in trouble way too many times....I had a boyfriend for 7 years, more or less, and last year we broke up...I was an emotional I started drinking and hanging out with the wrong crowd....that's how I started dating american guys who happen to live in italy too...and that's how I met him, Adam <3
He totally rocked my world, changed my life, my perspective on things...It all started off as a **** friendship but in the end I fell for him...
and he was so nice to me, caring, thoughtful...he made me believe we could actually have something more than that....took me places, introduced me to his friends, and then he left without a word, without a **** you or go to reason at all!
I was so depressed I stopped eating, talking to my friends and  had to go to a therapist in order to recover.
Eventually I left, moved to France for 6 months...had other guys, had sex a lot but everytime I was kissing someone I closed my eyes pretending it was his lips I was kissing...for a couple od months I managed to erase the memories and move on...then I got back home like 3 months ago and one night I got a message from him...he told me he was in love with me...I totally lost it and went outside his apartment but he wouldn't open up, and I still got no clue whatsoever on why he did that....anyway in the meantime I started dating another guy, actually I gave my ex bf (the one I spent seven years with) a second chance...but I still think of Adam and it hurts....last week one of his colleagues told me he got forced into checking into rehab coz of alcohol and that things are pretty serious...and one night I was so shitfaced I texted him coz I had repressed the urge to hear from him for so long....and he asked me to have sex with him....I'm so sad and depressed right now :( :( :(
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May 12, 2012