Missing You...as Always

I'm not gonna lie, this sucks.
I love my bf, and i love that he chose to do something so amazing with his life, but sometimes i can't help but feel like the whole bit sucks. Usually i get by pretty well without thinking too much about him being away because I'm busy with school or hanging with friends/family, but today I've been cooped up at home all day, trapped with no car and nothing but boundless episodes of Army Wives on Netflix. Talk about a bad combination. Now i just can't stop thinking about him, and for some reason i can't stop being negative about the whole situation. Another thing that is on my mind is that lately people have been telling me to "enjoy my youth" and not to "rush things." I guess it is because me and my bf have talked about getting married, and honestly, i really want to be with him for the rest of my life. I just wish everyone would understand that i feel this way because I want to cherish every waking moment i get with him, I mean you never know when everything can be taken away from you. I don't know much about anything but i do know how much love i have for this man, and how he makes me feel, and that is all i need to know...whether i get married now or later.
So yes, sorry for this jumbled post, i just literally have no other way to get these feelings out. I want to call his vmail and tell him myself, but what's the point? I know the separation doesn't last forever but right now i feel so darn alone...
adrieland adrieland
18-21, F
4 Responses May 12, 2012

I know just how you feel! I'm usually so busy with school and work that I don't even have time for myself let alone time to dwell on the fact that he is far away. But I have a break this week and I don't feel well today so I'm just sitting at home mopping. Although I think it might be good to have these days every now and then so you can let it out and then get back up tomorrow and feel stronger! Don't worry we are all here until everyone's man comes home safe! <3

I get it!! i feel exactly the same way i find the minute i start thinking anything AJ i go into dangerous territory especially now especially while he's deployed and so close on coming home and it wont end until he's back home safe!! As proud as what i am of right now i just want him home now already!!

I feel the same way you do. I try my best to distract myself from thinking of him, because i miss him so much.. i still havent talked to him .. i know i wont until the end of the month. But when i do get trapped at home it kills me :/

I know exactly how you feel.... I'm going through the same my man is deployed to the desert... and honestly the way you feel is normal... I feel that way too sometimes... and then i remind myself why I'm with him... because he treats me so great and we love each other. When you feel like that maybe you can set up a care package... or plan an event that you should both do when he gets back.... and the marriage part its up to the both of you... if the both of you feel like your ready then go for it!! Hope all goes well... and if you have any questions feel free to write me. :-)