Need Advice

I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now and now I am just so confused....... Last June when he was at MOS he had promised me that he was going to come here to Virginia to see me before going on to Japan (his duty station)... well he ended up asking me to go to Hawaii with him and stay with his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. That was fine I went and loved it. But I really really really really really wanted him to meet my family so we compromised and he promised that he would come this June to see me and my family.... well he just now told me that he has decided to go to Hawaii again.... already put in his leave and everything and wants me to go with him again. My brother is getting married on June 9th and I have to be here for family and he was supposed to come with me and meet EVERYONE, even family flying in from Iowa. I am so broken that he lied to me.... he told me that the only reason he was telling me now was because he didn't want to lie... but he already did! What do I do?!?!?!?!?! I think I just need to end it, I'm sick of being the only one to compromise. This is not okay.
barrettsgirl757 barrettsgirl757
22-25, F
5 Responses May 19, 2012

He is going to do both!!! He knew how important this was to me so he made it happen!!!!!!!! He is going to go to Japan and then coming here and then going back to fly back out to Japan!!!!!!!! He will be here in a little over TWO WEEKS!!!!! =)))))) After a year apart... he is going to be here!!!!!!!!!!!! =))))

So glad things worked out for you!!! Hope y'all have fun!!

I also agree with all of the above as hard as it's going to be speak to him about it and fast i also wouldnt cancel your plans because he changed his i know you want to see him but it also works both ways and also you dont want to regret not going to your brothers wedding either i'd stick to your plans tell him how you feel and go from there. Good luck!!

I agree with both the girls above, I wouldn't say end it but this needs to be a serious discussion. I would be so upset if I was in your shoes, if I were you I would put my foot down! He needs to realize just because he lies and gives you no option doesn't mean your going to go along with it. It's almost like he's trying to trick you in order to do it his way. That's no fair at all! Put your foot down, confront him about his lie, tell him just because he told you now doesn't take away from the fact he already lied. Lying by ommision is the same as a bold face lie. He knew what he was planning and he didn't take your feelings into consideration at all. Tell him there is no way you will be going to Hawaii, you enjoyed his family last time but this time it was about him enjoying your family. That's how relationships work. It's not about your family being more important then his family, it's about your feelings being important to him. You will not be going to Hawaii you will be attending your brother's wedding that he told you he would be going to as well. If your willing to, maybe offer him coming to the wedding and spending time getting to know your family then after finish his vaca in Hawaii and you'll join him? Or make him choose, keep to the promise he made of going to the wedding and supporting you the way you've been supporting him or he can go ahead and find another girl that will put up with his lies...

Lying is such a bad habit. Especially in a long distance relationship. You have to be able to trust his word because that's the only way you will know the truth. I would be so upset if I were in your shoes. And what kind of impression does that leave your family? Like his family is more important than yours?<br />
I dont think you should end it. Tell him he's being very selfish and that if this behavior continues you won't be with him. And address the lying. I let my husband lie too many times in the beginning of our relationship and I'm suffering for it now because it has become a habit for him.

I wouldn't say end it necessarily, but he needs to realize that your family is important to you and that it's not ok to keep putting them aside. Does he know how close you are to your family and how important this is to you for him to meet them?