Hi ladies
So Jim leaves soon for TBS training. I'm not ready for him to leave again but it's just how it goes. We had an awesome weekend and did lots of fun stuff. Just before I left to come home I had a lovely little mental break down. I was trying to have a productive/constructive conversation about the future and life ect. And it was going really well till I lost it and freaked out that I have to find a job again and because I A) don't have a masters and B) don't have a billion years of experience that finding a job in a museum is just kinda kicking my *** and I have no idea what I want to do. I don't want to go back to school and stupidly said it was because by the time I'm done we will be married and god knows where he will be stationed and it would be a waste of money. He responded that if I wanted to go back that shouldn't stop me. I told him I really don't want to go back to school its just one of the things on the list that make me not want to go back. He is really great and telling me to just find something fun to do for a job and enjoy every minute of it. He kept saying the stronger you are and the happier you are with what your doing the stronger we are as a couple and there is nothing to stop you from having a career when we are married. I told him I'm just scared and worried and its easier for me to think about us as a couple then to think about myself. I'm much better at worrying and thinking about other people then I am thinking about myself.

I know he's right but I'm just kinda emotional and just kind of stressed about him leaving and moving in with my aunt. She lives close by a bunch of children's museum's and that's what I want to get involved in. I'm just having a hard time figuring out how to make money while volunteering at a museum since I've already talked to all the museum's in the area and can't get a job. I'm getting really sick of having short term jobs too so idk what I'm gonna do at this point. I need to be doing something I enjoy but the problem is I don't even know what that is other then I like helping people learn. I do not want to be a teacher but I love watching kids learn and grow which is why I love the museum setting. But I don't know what else to do, Jim suggested a library so I applied at the one by my aunts and I asked my aunt and grandma to keep their ears open about people hiring. I could always fall back on nannying but idk how I feel about doing that again...we'll see I'm sure it will all fall into place I am just starting to stress out that he's leaving and about moving and not having a Job when I get there.

sigh ok just needed to vent that out, if anyone has any thoughts on something I could do including kids that would be great.
chiquitito chiquitito
22-25, F
May 21, 2012