I'm In Love With ” My” Marine:)

Hi I'm amanda and my boyfriend is heading to parris island in 2weeks. In all honesty I'm happy for him. When he talks to me or anyone about it his eyes light up and his excitement makes me excited that he's finally living his dream. The only problem is me... I have a panic disorder and seizures and my whole summer last year was basically rehab. Since me and my boyfriend started talking for the second time after summer we have fallen into this deep unexplainable love. We call each other about 4 to 5 times a day and he's supported me and my disorders more then anyone besides my parents. I know I'll be okay when he leaves but the suspense has me so upset. I need some suport
MarineGF26 MarineGF26
18-21, F
2 Responses May 22, 2012

Hi i'm Storm and AJ is my fiance he's currently deployed right now but nearly home!! It's completely normal to feel the way you do really before AJ and I got together i was more scared about him being a marine than knowing him my whole life and being his best friend i wont lie i freaked the hell out i went totally the opposite way of just my usual jumping in and going for it i think my dad being a marine and seeing what my mom went through i just didnt know how much i could cope with it! However after months of freaking out i just went for it we went into it with our eyes open i knew more or less what to expect and the routine of crazy only because i grew up with it but more importantly because of AJ he's the most important person in my life i cant see my life without him in it ever i have never once regretted this decision as hard as it can be i wouldn't change a thing!!<br />
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It's a mind set thing start training your mind now i know its hard but it can be done for every negative thought you have turn it into something positive in the beginning my regular thought was he's going to leave i changed it to he's going to leave but he's coming back home to me and it wont be that long I do it all the time seriously it's become like routine now i change it around its simple things like in the beginning of this deployment i started counting days and got all depressed then changed it to months because it looked better on paper my recent thing now is just convincing myself to get through the day without biting someones head off and simply put all i do is count ten if doesn't work i count to 20 if that doesn't work i smile, make some lame excuse up and walk away rather than open my mouth and regret it later i find just smiling sometimes help. People aren't going to understand but honestly it doesn't matter you don't have to hear it you don't have to put up with it and you certainly don't have to take it laying down either. for some or other reason some people find that because you have a bf in the military they get a free ticket to say and do whatever the hell they want and you just have to take it they dont you have a right to be sad annoyed depressed and no one has the right to say otherwise. the first month is the hardest because you have to adjust but once you start getting letters it's gets easier just take one day at a time. Stay as busy as what you can pick up new habits do things you've always wanted to do that you know your bf wont do and write often really there's no such thing as too much i write to AJ all the time and he loves it because they get batches of mail and he gets like heaps of letters and is like oh yeah lol he's a dork and to be perfectly honest it helps me too for that second i'm that much closer to him!! you'll find you a lot more stronger than you think i think every single one of us has said it you get stronger you look back and actually think how crazy you were when you started this journey off if you believe in yourself and believe in him and you can do anything. i know like half my friends think i'm insane because i'm marrying AJ and only because they say things like how does it work and i say things like because i love him and believe in us and they roll their eyes and say ok Storm it's the truth though we've been through a lot together and get through it because we believe in each other and that we can right from the offset!! It hasnt changed i trust in us and i trust in him and i believe with my whole heart nothing will bring us apart and so far it's worked!! I also took on a whole new approach with us well we always completely honest with with each other we say what feel and feel what we say its hard in the beginning but because we go through long periods of being apart its key i know exactly where i stand with AJ at all times and he knows exactly where he stands at any given time we talk about everything with each other and it works because that's how we are ALL the time!! If we happen like recently to rather keep things back we back off and know that eventually the other person will come to the other when the time is we also constantly compromise with each other as well - you going to learn to do this and you also going to become the most patient person in the world as crazy as sounds it's going to happen and only because you kind of dont have a choice.<br />
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You can do this if you feel like it's getting to much relax take a deep breath and count to 10 you can do anything you set your mind to so start setting your mind to this now its hard but you can do it your boyfriends home now so use this time now start adjusting now to it enjoy every second you have together and just have fun and we all here for you as well!!<br />
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lol oh i wrote a frigging novel sorry!!

I'm sure all the girls here (at least most of the regulars) will give you support! My bf, Zack, is graduating this Friday. If you need any help feel free to message me!