Confused And Kind Of Hurt :/

So I have a little issue and im not sure how to go about it. My bestfriend have all of a sudden started drifting apart. She's not doing all that great neither her or her boyfriend work and are on government assistance. And are just in a bad spot. But they can easily fix it by well attempting to find work. Mind you they have a daughter a year younger then my son. I've tried helping numerous times but there's only so many times that I can say the same thing and them obviously take none of the advice. He boyfriend was in the army and thinks he shouldn't have to wwork cause he's a "war hero" cause he served twice im Iraq. Im not tearing him ddown but there are plenty of other men who.have seen what he has and been thru the same thing bbut yet get a job and support his family. He's been out for four years already and hasn't worked a day. Anywho she has started calling me stuck up and I think im too good and that just cause my boyfriends a.Marine doesn't make me special. That made me mad cause I never really even talk.aabout the fact he's in.the military. Just cause I have a full time job and started school and am taking care of my child all with his support. I dont have time to sit and drink and do nothing. I love her to death but what's with the attitude change? I can't even talk about how happy or "perfect" things are right now cause she gets defensive and asks me if I think im better the
n her or gets sad and starts crying. Im sad about maybe losing my bestfriend :/

Sorry for the novel I just really needed to.get that off my chest.
Morgii Morgii
18-21, F
8 Responses Jun 27, 2012

thank all of you guys for the advice and opinions.

It sounds like she is depressed. Misery loves company. Your happiness might make her own unhappiness seem more pronounced.

Sounds like the boyfriend is having a huge influence on your friends adittude. She cares about him and values his oppinion but isn't thinking about if that oppinion is helping or hurting her. I wish there was something someone could say to help you help her but unless she is willing to see that her situation is bad and thinks she needs to improve there isn't much you can do. Sometimes you just have to watch people fall and then be there when they are ready to get back up. Just let her know you care about her and are willing to talk but that when she complains about things and then doesn't do anything to change the situation it's frusterating.<br />
<br />
Its always worth having multiple bff's too, cuz everyone's life can't be good at the same time so in having a few good friends you always have someone to share the good the bad and the ugly with (and the person you share one aspect with might not be who you share another with)

Thank you. Your right I just have to let her fall in order for her to see they need change. I wish I had more girlfriends to talk to and do things with. I just kind of distanced myself from most of them they weren't the best influences. And put me in situations that my boyfriend didn't appreciate.

But I really appreciate the advice and everything(: she's one of my best friends but your right there's only so much I can do and say.

I wish I could help on how to meet people but it's something I'm struggling with too. Its not easy making new friends, sometimes I wish there was a dating website but for meeting new people in your area!

paul hardcasle did a song for viet nam that still holds very true to day for the war <br />
the song is called 19

Go have dinner with her and ask her straight up what's going on. Tell her you love her and are here for her. Work on being her peer and friend. Listen to her, don't talk back too much. She might be in defensive mode because of things at home and not be receptive at this point. Just do you best to be there for her instead of telling her what she needs to do.

My husband has served in two foreign wars. He was violated and hazed. He came home with PTSD, depression and anxiety and still has managed to find the strength to continue on with his life. In my opinion he's just lazy. A man should want to support his gf and family. Sounds like he puts the boy in boyfriend

Can't really help someone who doesn't want to get help :/ I wouldn't say completely take her out of your life, but don't keep trying so hard if the same thing just happens over and over and she doesn't want to do anything about it. People like that make me angry. There's people that try so hard to find a job, yet there's other people who just sit on their butts and complain about not being able to make ends meet cause they aren't willing to try. Especially if they have a child to take care of.

there are no answers for you you have to stay strong for the child you have and the one you love they have made there choices you can give them support with words and maybe a meal or 2 but the other BF/ husband has work thought it<br />
<br />
you will need to be strong as youhav eno ideas what was will do to the one you love understand i was a husband plus a viet vet so i have seen both side my wife did not come home